The day after Thanksgiving...

Blue on Rust, Leaves (Sumac on Maple)

Briar and Weeds

Fossils and Weeds

A Solitary Leaf

Shell and Leaf

Pale Green Viola Leaf

Viola Leaf on a Rock

Leaves

 Thankfulness...

I got up at 6AM yesterday morning, and had the nigh 20lb bird stuffed and in the oven by 7AM, the routine is a familiar path, I plodded along all through the morning making preparations, then got halfway upstairs to change, and ran back to the living room to turn on the Macy's Parade just in time to see Santa Claus...(it wouldn't be right to miss Santa!) Although we had a fraction of the family around the table than in past years, yet still keeping to the tradition as we've known it...my Fred's mother passed away almost two weeks ago, and so it's been a time...as our niece insisted, "Grandma would have wanted us to be together today." And so we did gather around as a family to begin the process of moving on, and we enjoyed our company and talked. It was lovely in spite of moments of missing her...and missing Grandpa (our second Thanksgiving without him.) We're still in that emotional period of loss, slightly numb, yet sharp in feeling...we're seeking a foothold on the latest version of "normal". Time will tell. Today I'm in that fatigue zone...painfully tired, which is typical FMS, I'm used to it, and push through it (how easy it would have been to go back to bed and sleep the day away!), but in spite of it, I worked on my paintings today, for some reason, on days when I'm this tired writing is impossible, but the act of painting flourishes in that intuitive flow that is beautiful, and it felt right. If anything, I am thankful for my determination.

Leftovers for dinner tonight...mmmmm...and tomorrow TURKEY SOUP! (I love that more than the dinner.)


I haven't been able to keep up with the last three Literary Blog Hop activities through the Blue Bookcase, but have enjoyed the conversations that have emerged since the first one I hooked up with earlier this month. As I noted in the side bar of my blog, Dusty Waters is now available as an e-book on the B&N Nook (as part of the B&N PubIt! program, released on 11/19.) It took well over a month to accomplish it, I had slowly worked my way through both books to get them properly formatted, but only put up the one. The Fractured Hues of White Light will be saved aside for release at another time since I'm still in the early giveaway mode of the paperback at Goodreads. I downloaded the Nook app for my laptop so I could sample the technology, and purchased Virginia Woolf's early novel Night and Day just for fun (since my most favorite paper back is falling apart) ...it is a temptation to buy more books, but I will restrain myself for now, and make selections of old favorites in due time. No matter the convenience of the e-book and all the other arguments that make them the bees knees I still love the intimacy of a solitary book made of paper, and will gladly make room for more of them on my to-read pile. Will I purchase an actual Nook? Probably...I've become slightly smitten with the gadget during my careful investigation of gadgets. Will I convert one (or both) of the books for Kindle? Eventually, it is quite possible with all the available conversion tools out there to 'make it so'...I'm in no rush (if there's anyone who wants it bad enough for their Kindle they can send me an email and say "pretty please" and I'll see what I can do about it sooner than later.) For now, the Nook is the test...it is one more test in my indie publishing experiment, I'm going to see how it goes as I continue to muddle along at my own pace. It is just how I am...it is how I do what I do.

Sunday afternoon...

Yesterday was a very busy day for me, a book signing in Johnson City NY, then a Gallery closing reception in Syracuse, they overlapped and we (my Fred and I) made it to both, I'm exhausted today...but I did enjoy a bit of sunshine on the porch early this morning, with my laptop in lap, a cup of coffee, and my doggy buddy, Max, at my feet (his black fur smelling sunshine sweet!) The humming birds were buzzing the bee balm, at one point three were buzzing quietly together in the same clump of balm...well, until they bumped into each other and they started to squabble, chipping and spraying poop at each other...good grief!

My flower garden is looking wild from all the rain, and because of my back, I can't do the maintenance that I usually do to tame it...but the photo opportunities have still been a delight!

Along with my self-promotion of Dusty Waters through Good Reads, I've been working pretty steady on The Fractured Hues of White Light, I'd really like to get it ready to publish sometime in August or September...but I keep fussing around with chapter 3...it's a good kind of fussing because I'm tying up loose ends and filling in a crucial time in my character Sylvester's life that also has an influence in two of my other novels, and it's sort of helping me write the one currently named Wish, which has been "on hold" for nearly two years...

Allow me to explain, the nifty thing about my books is this interconnection of the characters...the books are individuals, they're not written to be read in any order or anything like that...but the characters know one another, their lives overlap in a variety of ways...just like life, people know one another, sometimes briefly, sometimes longer (or forever)...life goes on for these people after the novel is finished...they show up in the background of another story, moving on beyond their story...or in a time or place before...depends on which book...but the familiarity is there...a community...it's been growing for a long time...

So...White Light...yes, this odd book about the autistic artist Samantha Ryder...I do love this book, it only gets better with every visit...it's my garden that I'm tending this summer...she's bloomed to 520 pages (at one point during the early drafts she was tipping into 600 pages, so she's "streamlined" now...) I'm immersed into this world for now, and I'll know when she's ready to go to print...just not yet! I'm going to take my sweet old time!

A rain soaked rose, ain't she lovely?

The turtle...

My Fred carved this little turtle for me out of a chip of alabaster...he's so sweet (both of them, the turtle and my Fred!)

This is an old photo of me holding one of the orphan bunnies that we helped "get bigger" before releasing it back to the wild, what a pleasure to hold this tiny life in my hands and have it not be afraid of me, sweet little thing! I haven't had one yet this year, but they're around, growing into bigger bunnies...I've kept Max's nosy-nose out of the weeds so he isn't picking them up and bringing them to me (he's very gentle with them, such a good boy)...and I've been very "cruel" by keeping the cats inside until the babies are bigger...I can't bear hearing that pitiful cry as Crouching Tigger-Hidden Pooh carries one off, it breaks my heart...(Tiggy-Pooh is right here, eyes cracked open as if he KNOWS I'm writing about him!)

Go back to sleep kitties, it's windy outside...(that is the doggy bed...but the doggy never gets to sleep on it!)

Anyway...back to the turtle...I loved the tale of the tortoise and the hare way back...and still do...I've always been of the turtle sensibility through much of my time...slow-pokey toes, easy as she goes, living inside a protective shell...withdrawing when under threat, not sticking my neck out until it's safe...it's usually when I behave like a silly bunny that's when I get the smack down...know what I mean, jellybean? Been there, done that, got crap on my new t-shirt...

I've been immersed in editing my novel The Fractured Hues of White Light since March...and I believe it's as close to being publishable as it ever will be...I'm tempted to read it through one more time before turning it over to my Fred for him to do his design voo-doo to "make it so"...I'm grappling with the cover...I want to use a drawing...but I know color is important...so something that might fade from a stream of consciousness sketchbook doodle on the back to the glory of color on the front might be the way to go...the spine might be a "rainbow" of color...not sure...the brain is working it out...I'm kinda stuck on yellow being the main color...I have a few ideas...a few...I need to slop some watercolor around and see what happens...

I've been intrigued by this weeks NEWSWEEK...WHAT TO READ NOW...the fifty books that make sense of our times is chock full of suggested reading that might not normally make it on any top fifty, maybe the top 100 or 200 (if there's such a thing as a top 200)...and I loved The Write Stuff by Jon Meacham in which writers have their say in an honest roundtable conversation about writing and being published... Susan Orlean said the first book she bought on Kindle was by...Susan Orlean. (Of course it was, I'd do the same thing and be tickled pink that I could do it! Wouldn't you? Is it so terrible to want to exhibit some pride in what you do?) The conversation is similar to the series of conversations with editors and agents that I've read in Poets and Writers lately...all very informative, all very exciting...and at times disheartening...it's sometimes a real mood swing reading this stuff while being a writer...

The Now, Read it Again article by David Gates about revisiting favorite books is also a treat...and I especially loved reading The Reluctant Poet Laureate by Louisa Thomas about Kay Ryan, that one seemed extra special because I love her poem Turtle (yes, we're back to the turtle) the article quoted a piece of it...and I'm going to quote it here:

She lives/ below luck-level, never imagining/ some lottery will change her load of pottery to wings./ Her only levity is patience,/ the sport of truly chastened things.

Oh, yes...YES. My sentiments exactly...you see, I have some metaphorical crap on my new t-shirt because now that I'm really doing something with my books, self-publishing them as a publisher (Field Stone Press has started to receive junk mail, YAY!) and I've invested in a advertising campaign on Good Reads, and I'm doing a giveaway of 5 copies of Dusty Waters (ends on July 27th, click the icon on the side bar to check it out or join in!) I'm very excited by all of this progress that I'm making...and freaking out too because I've poked my head out a little more than I'm used to...I mean, jeepers creepers, people are buying my book, people are reading it...OMG imagine that! I'm still in the red...no profit yet, but that's okay, really, I never expected to make millions of dollars (not in a million years.) Maybe, just maybe, someone other than my son will post a review on Amazon.com...maybe...maybe...maybe...maybe the book will be banned or publicly burned (torches and pitchforks, oh, my)...wouldn't that be sweet? Well, maybe not (she tucks her head inside).

There's a whole lot of maybes...I completely understand Kay Ryan's reluctance to be in the position of representing 'capital-P Poetry'...I've spent plenty of time huddled over my creativity, always hiding what I was working on within the protective cradle-curve of my arm, fearing that the stray glance would see it and somehow they'd ruin it by noticing it...fearing the opinion of others, fearing someone would accuse me of being a "show off"...sometimes living up to the expectations of others is more than I can stand...or good grief, being a role model...holy shit, that's a lot of responsibility! (I'm relieved to read in Joyce Carol Oates journal that she often feels stunned by it too: "...might be that I am embarrassed at taking credit for whatever I do. If it's good I am embarrassed; if considered bad, embarrassed. By attributing my work to forces beyond my control I am distanced from it. I think that, briefly, explains the falsifications I have loved so dearly. Innocence masking experience.")

Anyway...I just want to write my books, get them out there into the hands of people who would like to read the experience between the covers, and I want to do it honestly...I don't know if they're going to like what they read or not...I can't apologize if they don't...I writes it as I sees it, okay? I made it up...half the time it surprises me what I write, so...ah, whatever...I can't please everybody...I just hope people will read my work with an open mind...

Like I said earlier, I'm agonizing over what to do for the cover of White Light, and NEWSWEEK had an article about that too...My Favorite Covers by Chip Kidd... and Poets and Writers also had a great article about interior book design...loved that too...

And finally, a delightful treat, an excerpt of Homer and Langley by E. L. Doctorow...so I've started a new list on my Good Reads profile...To-Buy...

Seeing my book being added to readers "To-Read" lists is exciting...and knowing that over 200 people are vying for my 5 free copies is freaking me out (in a good way)...

It's been a week of immersion...I think I've rambled enough...

Thanks for visiting...