Dusty Waters, A Ghost Story

Four years ago I was editing, proofreading, making changes, reading, making more changes, having my Fred run it through InDesign, the font was selected, formatting line by line, chapter by chapter, and then a PDF came into being. Which of course meant more reading, more fussing over formatting, more proofreading, more changes... somewhere in the midst of all this, I dug out old photos I took of the Fox Sister's house in Hydesville before they tore it down, and used them for the book cover... then finally, a file was created and the first paperback came in the mail a few days later. Of course there was more to do to it...other odd formatting problems, a couple of misspelled words...a word that wasn't misspelled, but was just the wrong word...and then eventually a block of ISBN #'s were purchased, and one more file created, another proof came, it was examined page by page, and then, it was done. I never looked back, never regretted that I didn't try one more time to go the traditional route...


Four years after its publication, I still love this little book of mine, and have found the reactions of readers very interesting—no surprises—it’s one of those ‘love it’ or ‘hate it’ sort of books, I guess. It still amazes me that I wrote it, and I'm always grateful when someone tells me they loved it and what their favorite part was, or what made them cry...

It just makes me cry that I was able to write it...it took years to write it...I carried much of it within me since I was quite young, before I knew what to do with any of it...they were stories I made up, told to my friends, and then got into trouble over them because...well because they weren't true. I was called a liar for making such things up. (Imagine that.)

Dusty Waters, A Ghost Story is a literary fiction novel, it is not the usual ghost story with a haunted house—oh, yes, Tanglewood is very haunted—but it’s a ghost story as much about life as it is about death. It’s a coming of age story and a story about coming to terms with the past. Dusty Waters, as a little girl with a gift of seeing ghosts, is haunted by the spirits drifting in the hallways of her ancestral home, and haunted by the past encompassing a family history, a nation’s history, and a generation’s history, as well as her personal story. Dusty Waters, as a woman, standing well over six feet tall, wild curly blond hair with big feet and a big nose, is a folksinger in the tradition of folksingers of the Boomer generation with a growling voice like Janis Joplin, but her guitar is tuned with the Punk edge of the Gen-X kids who show up at her concerts looking to hear songs about the truth of “what was” and presently that “it goes like this.” She pulls no punches as she belts out her songs, but in her own personal life, she’s barely scratching the surface of being honest with herself. She’s scared to go home to face the ghosts that haunt her there, and scared to live without them. Coming home at last, she has steeled herself to sit down with her friend, Katharine, to tell her story for the official biography of the folksinger—but there are parts of that story she will never tell a soul—except maybe one, but she lost him along the way and needs to go find him.

Me at my first book signing on May 2, 2009 at Fat Cats in Johnson City, NY

Look at that smile—and those poor old tortie glasses bit the dust long ago, I loved them until they fell apart and were beyond repair—oh, they got me through many hair-pulling edits of that little ghost story I’m holding in my hands—I just loved writing this book and have enjoyed meeting people to talk about it and although I'm so small time being an indie on my own, I can't complain, she sells one book at a time.

Four years later...here is a lifetime I can hold in my hands and share.

My novel...

The Fox Sister's homestead site, photo c. 1985

 This is a post to promote my novel, Dusty Waters, A Ghost Story...so, please, forgive me, every now and then I feel that I must dive in to promote my novels, so allow me to indulge as it is a necessary evil as an author in this day and age…especially those of us who are indie and have to do it ourselves…honestly, I’d much rather be doing something more fun…but I'm in bed with a crappy head cold so...anyway...

Dusty Waters is a ghost story, there is no doubt about that because I wrote it that way. I’m telling you this just so you’re not mislead to believe otherwise—it is a ghost story, but it isn’t the typical ghost story in the paranormal/supernatural genre that jumps out with a “Boo!” I wanted it to be more than that. Expect it to be different, leave behind all preconceptions of a ghost story when you enter this one. It is a ghost story, from a long line of the telling of ghost stories, which I adore, but I wrote it my way, to tell a story about a young woman, who possesses the ability to see and communicate with ghosts. Her ancestral home is full of the spirits of her relatives who have not moved on for whatever reason, her sweetheart, who died too young, waits for her at their favorite meeting place—she grows older, he remains the same 17 year old boy who she loved with all her heart. As he tells her to live her life, he has sworn to wait for her. It is a book about life as much as it is about the dead, it is about the metaphorical ghosts that haunt her, haunt others, haunt all of us. The ghosts of our past are a natural element of the human condition—so you see, it is more than just a ghost story.

The book…the zygote of the book rolled around in my brain for many years, pieced together from bits of stories that I made up as a kid, part of a fascination with the supernatural, part of it fascination with some of the old houses on my street, (Lyons is an old town full of history), and part of it I wanted to write about someone on a life journey, one that is not finished yet. A woman alive and well among the living, and able to speak with the dead…one of the elements that I wanted to explore in this novel was how someone who can see and speak to spirits deals with that, is it a gift or is it a curse? I could only imagine that it is a burden and could have a negative impact on them...it's a character building ordeal, I'm sure.

 With that said, let me give a little bit of the back story about the making of the book. The book cover, designed by my Fred, and conceived through photographs that I took at the Fox Sisters homestead site in Hydesville, New York, the birthplace of Spiritualism. I grew up in Lyons, New York, just a few miles away from this place and the idea of the rappings and séances inspired me. Many years ago, (over twenty) I went with my family to the old homestead and photographed the site as it was at that time; the cottage had been burned, vandalized, neglected and eventually torn down. When I heard that it was gone, I made certain to keep these photos safe thinking someday they’d be of use to me in a project (I was young and full of grand ideas at the time.) I wish I had more photos, but this was a time before digital cameras and 4GB memory disks, I had a roll of 24 shots and most of the roll was full of photos taken up at Sodus Bay...

Doorway with birds nest

The burned door

Monument outside the house near the road

There is no death, there are no dead…I’m so glad that I photographed the monument at the time…life is consciousness, the consciousness never dies, this is one of the beliefs of the spiritualist movement…I don’t align myself with any particular religion, but I am a spiritual person with my own beliefs about the way things are, and the idea of the body as a vessel of the soul is a very evocative belief for me.

The cover design

Once I decided to bite the bullet to publish independently, my Fred started to work on ideas for the cover, and I pulled out these old photographs of the Fox Sister’s homestead site. As soon as he presented the design to me, there was no turning back, the cover is its birthmark, it is home—every author can only hope to have the right cover for their book. I’ve heard so many authors complain how they hate their book’s cover—that must be heartbreaking, to put all that work into a novel and get to the publication part, only to have a cover that isn't what you imagined or clearly looks like the designer had no clue what the book was about. I love this cover…it is gorgeous. It means a great deal to me because of the place and time, and what it represents. It isn't a girly book...quite a tomboy.

Dusty Waters is a book steeped in history, lots of it made up history overlapping with history of a time and place, but it's a history created for this book...a book about a young woman, growing up in a small town, surrounded by the ghosts of the past...and she has a pooka named Lucy in the shape of a Chinese dragon living underneath her bed to block bad dreams.

"Around her quiet streets, voices seem to murmur the refrain, 'once upon a time.' Once upon a time, men who moulded the destinies of the frontier lived in the pillared brick colonial houses on the hills above the town. Later on, in Lyons's commercial heyday, other powerful men built the more ornate Victorian mansions under the stately trees. There, once upon a time, flowered an old regime, a gracious way of life, a social elegance, and cultural interest that was distinctively Lyons." - Arch Merrill, The Towpath

I could say more, but I will leave it here for now. 

Dusty Waters is available in paperback original through Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble (or just about anywhere you want to order the real deal paper books.) It is also available for Nook and Kindle for those who prefer e-reading.

A new year...

Collage #1, 1/1/2012

 It snowed...we rec'd a January's worth of snowfall in the last couple of days after balmy 40's flirting with 50's just a couple of days ago...Although I've been known to complain, I don't mind the snow, I don't mind the cold, it's supposed to be that way when it isn't, it feels wrong...a small flock of red wing black birds have been visiting my bird feeder today, poor little birds were feeling secure that it was okay to stick around the brown fields and marshes...the ground isn't frozen so there's been plenty to eat...oops...dang...so I stepped out and put extra in the feeder to feed the extra visitors...

Collage #2, 1/1/2012

Two Thursday's in a row, there has been a flock of crows outside of my office at work early in the morning...they are very noisy!

Taking Flight and Perching, 1/5/2012

Been laying low, not feeling 100%, the usual FMS stuff, back issues, and a digestive system that has not been happy with the rich holiday food, but I'm getting better, treating myself well...

Perching, 1/12/2012

I'm currently reading Owls Do Cry by Janet Frame...her writing is always so stunning, some passages are dense and gorgeous, while some are simply frank, to the point...my favorite part is the beginning of Chapter 4, page 19:

Their town, called Waimaru, was small as the world and halfway between the South Pole and the equator, that is forty-five degrees exactly. There was a stone monument just north of the town, to mark the spot, in gold lettering.

- Traveller, the writing said, Stop here. You are now standing halfway between the South Pole and the equator. 

What did if feel like to be standing at forty-five degrees?
It felt no different.

Of course it doesn't feel different...it's just one of those things. It tickled my funny bone...I know such things have disappointed me in the same way...


Speaking of books...
Here's a recent review of Dusty Waters, even though it isn't the best, thought I'd share it anyway:

(2 stars) This book started out so well that I was captivated. I read it in 2 days. But about 2/3 of the way thru the book it fell apart for me.
The story is about a woman retelling her life story to a friend, who is writing her biography.
The young Dusty is so interesting and well created that I really liked her character. She sees ghosts throughout her life and she tells some of their stories, her interactions with them, and her own feelings about seeing them.
But the grown up Dusty is a woman I did not like at all. The author seemed to use this character as a political platform and the language used when writing for the adult was just unnecessary.
I could give this book 2 and 1/2 stars, but not 3...


No big deal. I appreciate the reader's thoughts...everyone comes to a book with their own set of tools from personal experience. To be honest, Dusty's adult life wasn't my favorite part to write, believe me, I know she made me cringe when I wrote her, what she went through is a complete departure from my life...her life did fall apart...there's something secure about childhood that is lost once we hit puberty and grow up, how we turn out comes down to choices and Dusty made many bad decisions...if I could, I'd ask the reader, "Do you think Dusty was happy with her adult self?" I don't think too many of us are completely satisfied with how we turn out when we grow up...Dusty had to start over, she grew, she "reformed", she went home again...just like Aunt Mabel and just like her mother...

As for Dusty's politics...this seems to ruffle the feathers of the more conservative readers, which I knew when I wrote it (I'm still waiting for a good old fashioned book burning, that trumps the "wall of shame" any day of the week!) Oh well...she's a folksinger (Are there conservative folksingers?) Dusty was born at the tail end of the Baby Boomer generation, she grew up during the Vietnam era with a different perspective than her older siblings. This difficult period in American history affected her psyche, and her edgy point of view about the human condition places her as a distinguished bookend for her generation...during the early stages of writing this book, I particularly went for this left leaning mindset in reaction to 9/11, I was feeling a bit outraged by the right and left division of our country in the aftermath of the tragedy. For the record, I'm a social liberal who's conservative slip shows on fiscal matters...and I support the protection of the wild horses out west...How about that BLM? Gotta love how they piss away millions of taxpayer dollars rounding up a few hundred wild horses and burros to make room for the tens of thousands of privately owned cattle who do more damage to the range environment...I could go on, but I'll step off my soapbox...

Language, this has upset a few more sensitive readers...yes, Dusty has a potty mouth, she comes by it honestly...she's seen things to make her angry enough to drop an "F-bomb" before 9AM on any given day...words are words, some are more colorful than others...for the record, I've been known to have a potty mouth...and yes, I have dropped the "F-bomb" before 9AM, with good reason.

I think the funniest thing I ever heard about a reader doing to a book with "too many swears" and "naughty parts" (I think it was The Time Traveler's Wife) she used white out and then was able to read it...whatever works, I guess.

Can't win 'em all...I writez 'em as I seez 'em, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

So my digital sketchbook is full again...overflowing...


I love studying shadows and shapes...the floor and stairway in the gallery caught my eye one early morning, some overhead lights had been left on...the mix of textures made this fun...











The kitties have been good...Crouching Tigger-Hidden Pooh sat semi-still long enough to catch his expression...he has developed little "worry wrinkles" on his brows...so cute! (He's 13 years old, will turn 14 in April.)




Popeye is looking good...he likes to pose for his portrait...






 That's it for now...thanks for stopping by...

Expectations, the readers reviews of Dusty Waters: A Ghost Story

It’s been two years since I published Dusty Waters: A Ghost Story, being an independently published author is a lot like being a stray cat out looking for a home or going about their independentness scrounging for what they can get, usually very little... some people don't want you around and throw shit at you to scare you off, some come at you, cautiously cuz you might be overzealous with rabies, while some welcome you with open arms, give lap time, food, and warmth. I’ve been quite pleased with the result of my experiment as an independently published author—my little ghost story is finding homes, being read—most of them like it (even better, some say they love it!) Some tell me that it made them laugh and cry, some start reading it again because they loved it so much. Some say they will tell everyone they know about it. Some have felt a little middle of the road about it, it was good, but there was something that didn’t sit well, and a few downright hated it. Throughout this process I’ve experienced the highs and lows emotionally, have taken care to develop a thick skin, and a c’est la vie attitude, I can’t please them all, and above all, it’s business -  a subjective business.With that said, here are the reviews, thirteen of them…

Reader #1***** (5 stars) What a story!
This is a darn good book, gifted to us by an accomplished storyteller. We're treated to an extremely satisfying array of characters, from the quiet, marred Asher, to raucous, sequined Dede; and guided by the quirky, gravel-voiced, 6 feet, 3 inch creator of Dusty Boots Records.

I read fiction to be absorbed, to move into a house with people I don't know yet, to sit in the chairs in the parlor, or disappear into the library behind the secret panel and see the dust on the book jackets and smell the air from the open window. I want to hear the creek bubbling past the broken down willow, and taste the heat from the Taos desert. I want to smile, laugh, fear, suffer, love with the people on the page.

Dusty Waters delivers.

This is a memorable book. The plot devices are adroit, and there are admirably adept methods Ms. Ryan uses; how does a writer convey to the reader that it's hard to get a single message separated from a litany of ghostly memories? The way Laura does it.

There are words and phrases that delight - "suchthings," and "nonstop raspberry."

I'll read Dusty Waters again. Happily.

Reader #2 ***** (5 stars) Not at all what I expected...Wow!
Dusty Waters is a 5 star read. We meet Dusty in her 40s (I think?) and she is somewhat of a hippie in that she stands up against the government through her songs and her unashamed preaching. She is smart and has lived a life. Her childhood friend, Katharine, is writing a book about Dusty (now that Dusty is a famous folk singer) and "Dusty Waters: a ghost story" is a mixture of the interviews that Dusty and Katharine share, and the back stories that Dusty tells in first person narrative. Always intense, realistic conversations, fully-body characters and I loved every one of them.

Dusty sees dead people. No, not in a "Sixth Sense" sorta way, but just in that she can see the ghosts of people who have yet to move on with their "lives". Many of the dead will live the same last moments over and over again, dying over and over. Or some will wait in a certain place where they felt most comfortable in their living "life"... for someone, or something. Dusty sees these spirits- ever since she was a child (of about 4 years) and her father suddenly died of an aneurism at the breakfast table. After he died, she could still see her father sitting at the breakfast table for 3 years, until they moved back to a family heirloom of a house that got passed down from generation to generation.

At the "new" house where Dusty's mother grew up, Dusty can see all of her ancestors trapped inside the house. But, it's not in a scary way. Some of them died brutal, mis-informed deaths, but none wished ill-will to Dusty. The ghosts were so trapped inside their own misery or solitude, that most didn't even notice that Dusty could see them.

Dusty Waters is about self-discovery, trusting one's instincts, true love, growing up in war, losing family members, growing up, and being true to oneself.

The only issue I had with the book was it seems to be marketed as a Ghost Story- as in a horror book. Even the cover art looks a little creepy. "Dusty Waters" has ghosts in it, sure, but it's not ABOUT the ghosts. It's so much more than that. If I could change anything about this book, it would be the cover and the marketing strategy. Because "Dusty Waters" is not scary... it's beautiful.

Reader #3 **** (4 stars)
This is a story about the life and loves of Dusty Waters. She is a folksinger with an attitude, but if you had lived through what she has I guess you would be the same! Dusty can see and communicate with ghosts. This gift is found out when her dad tragically died one morning and never really left. After this the family moved into Tanglewood (a mysterious mansion-like place) and with even more ghosts to keep Dusty busy. This biography of Dusty and her life living at Tanglewood is an interesting one. Reading this book you feel like the nosey neighbor peeking into her life...not a lot of books can make you feel like you there and observing.

Reader #4 **** (4 stars)
I loved this book! I was going into it expecting something really supernatural, focused on spirits/ghosts. Instead I read a beautiful story about living life. Dusty's ability to see ghosts is just a part of her, like being tall, or having curly hair.

Dusty's voice carried me along on a gentle pace through the story of her life. I laughed, I cried, and I put the book down feeling better for having read it. I can't wait to pick it back up and read it again!

Reader #5 **** (4 Stars)
I totally enjoyed this one and for so many different reasons. Laura's writing style is just really awesome and has a unique flow to it. She really managed to make the story feel intimate.

'Dusty Waters: A Ghost Story' was certainly a unique book. I initially got interested in this one because it was a "ghost" story, but it turned out to be so much more than that. Yes, there are ghosts in the book, but I think this one really dug deeper. It really hits on the "ghosts" of our past and how they shape the person we are today. I loved the sometimes nutty main character, Dusty, and the stories she told. They were each unique and again, I think it showed how the ghosts of our past affect the person today.

I have to mention the format of the book because I really thought it was great. Each chapter starts out with a transcript of an interview done with Dusty while working on a biography...it then switches in to what I would call a flashback.

Overall, I thought this one was enjoyable. No matter what kind of ghost story you're looking for you may just find it here. I'd call it a relaxed and easy-going book.

Reader #6    **(2 Stars) Note: added to reviewer’s personal “losers” list
Dusty Waters, A Ghost Story, is not a ghost story. It's a people story with ghosts on the sidelines. Dusty is a folksinger, who just happens to be able to see and communicate with ghosts. The book is about Dusty having her memoirs written by an old friend. That was interesting enough to make me immediately want to read this book. Sadly, for me, the result was rather boring. Imagine if Forrest Gump was female, and could see ghosts. Not that Dusty was challenged in any way other than her second sight, but she was, like Forrest, overly calm and accepting of the ghosts around her. Kind of like "Ohhhh-Kaaay". A very ordinary story about an ordinary family. The settings and historical events that provided the backdrop for this growing girl and her family could have provided enough interest to save the book, but it simply failed. The historical family mansion, for example, complete with ghosts and hidden rooms should have provided lots of entertainment in itself, but because the ghosts were as ordinary as the living, and Dusty's reaction and interaction with them bordered on deadpan (no pun intended), there was no "hook". The characters were likeable enough, but once the book was closed, I did not feel drawn back to it. Pretty mediocre.

Reader #7 **** (4 Stars)
This was about the life story of a fictional character named Dusty Waters, a folksinger. When her father died one morning at breakfast she saw and conversed with him at the breakfast table for the next three years. No one in her family believed she could see his ghost and called her crazy. When they moved into her Mother's ancestral home, she saw and heard family spirits. I liked the way the author wrote the story. Sprinkled throughout the book, it was written as though Dusty was being interviewed by the writer, Katherine, a friend. There was funny parts and sad parts like all stories, and she did a good job with the ending. An unexpected ending.

Reader #8 * (1 star)
Oh my goodness. This was a terrible book. I thought it was going to be a ghost story (based on the title - duh!), but it turns out it was just an opportunity to rant about politics and "those crazy religious nuts". I didn't realize what I was getting myself into. If you are solidly on the left, you might enjoy this book. Otherwise, steer clear from this one. It was so irritating because there were times that the story encouraged me to continue reading, and then I would get hit in the face with the political rant all over again. Blech...

Reader #9 **** (4 Stars)
I went into this book expecting spooks and transparent figures that go bump in the night. Instead it's a nice book about a normal life and all the little things that go into a life. There were parts that had me not liking Dusty, but as a whole she was likable. There were a few times when spirits were involved that I cried. I like the evolution of Dusty as a person. It is a good book.

Reader #10 *** (3 Stars)
This was an interesting book...the language is not my preference and there is a lot of it...but it has a good storyline.

Reader #11 **** (4 Stars) Note: added to reviewer’s “to keep in personal library” list
Probably because I believe that our loved ones are always around us, I really liked this one. It will be one I keep in my library forever.

Reader #12 ***** (5 stars) Definitely not your average ghost story
Dusty Waters is a different take on the traditional ghost story, dealing more with the lives of people through the eyes of the person who can see them while, simultaneously, trying to grow into her own life. Definitely a good read for those wanting entertainment and some brain food to munch on.

Reader #13 ***** (5 Stars) Excellent story, I loved every page!
The sub-title "A Ghost Story" caught my attention so I bought this book. I enjoyed it so much and am recommending it to all my friends. I don't want to give away the story, but it is definitely a "ghost" story which you find out very early in the book, with numerous plots of mysterious questions...actually I just talked myself into reading it again! ENJOY!!

And so that’s them...the words of wisdom/gut reactions from thirteen readers who have loved, liked, found so-so, or disliked my little ghost story. As you can see, much of what is written here says more about the reader and how they experience books, and going a step further, there are some readers who are open minded and willing to enjoy a book without expectation, while others lose the joy of reading by having strict expectations and have no wiggle room to engage in a writer’s story if it fails to fall within their set parameters. These parameters I find very interesting, especially regarding how every reader has their expectations about what a ghost story is supposed to be...or not be. Is it a ghost story? The majority accept it as a ghost story. It is a ghost story, a ghost story told the way I wanted to write it. The ghosts aren’t the “BOO!” bump in the night kind of ghosts—that’s been done, I wanted to do something different, something better. It is a book about the life of Dusty Waters, the ghost story is the part of her life that will not be included in her biography, only the reader is becoming privy to this secret—this I believe is part of the beauty of the book, it is more than a ghost story.

Two years later, yes, the stray cat has gained a thicker skin, but that doesn't mean I still don't feel a little queasy and bummed out when I see a one star reaction with a review to match relaying all that I did wrong (I know it won't be the last one) or do a little happy dance when I get four stars set up along with a thoughtful review...I'm not yet a fat tabby, but it's been a worth while experiment. I feel good about what I've done, real good (shh, listen to the purr.)

I couldn't resist posting a pic of the little old man (who was once a stray long long time ago) he is very content sleeping on his head like that

Dusty Waters: A Ghost Story is available in paperback through Amazon.com and as an E-book at Barnes and Noble for the Nook.

New Year's Eve

Winter, through the window, 2010

I thought I'd post some of my most favorite photographs from this year today.

A Memento, 2010

Horses once lived here, 2010

Hope, 2010

Another year has gone by, and a new one is on deck. I treat every year as an "open-ended hope". I do the best I can to accomplish my goals, I work at my own pace with patient persistence, and do what I do in spite of everything that could cause me to give up.

Independently published 2010 by Field Stone Press

Looking back, I see my happiest achievement, I independently published my second novel, The Fractured Hues of White Light, although it doesn't seem to be as well received as Dusty Waters was in 2009, I still feel it is one of my best efforts. It was a difficult book to write, I don't know if I have words to explain what I went through since the book first took form to the day the first paperback copy came into my hands, but it was much like a birth, a very difficult birth...the self-doubts are the worst. And I put together an e-book file for Dusty Waters to become available for the B&N NOOK. There's one in the works for The Fractured Hues of White Light, but I'm not ready to release it yet. In time I will. And I'm busy with the third novel, Drinking from the Fishbowl, which I hope to have ready by mid to late fall 2011, if I get it ready sooner, that's cool, but I'm going to take my time...no rush. I am pleased that the books are selling, one at a time, I'm not making much money with it, but I'm patient, this has been an experiment to see how I do out there, and I can't be happier about it...my books are being read! That's important.

Me n' my Fred at the Gallery making art together on a Thursday night

My second happiest achievement this year has to be our little co-op art gallery, Moonlighting. I am always a firm believer that from little things, big things grow, this is only the beginning, we're doing a good thing.The resulting artwork has been encouraging, and although I haven't sold much this year, just having a place to gather with other artists, create art, display our work on a consistent basis, hold openings, and treat the community to a nice space filled with beautiful artwork is special. It's another experiment in DIY!

Suddenly, Last Summer, 2010

A lot has happened, and there's no way I can recap everything said and done, between my blogs and my journal there are plenty of entries of everyday things. I have been hanging in there in spite of the fiendish symptoms of FMS, and continue to adjust to the phases that I go through and alter the "me management" to get through the day. My mantra is "I'm upright and going forward." I'm grateful that I have stayed away from the pharmaceutical band-aids and that I can still keep going to my day job, as I know so many with this illness lose so much because of it. I'm thankful that I have many who support me in my day to day life, tho' because I'm stubborn, I tend to do for myself, but I do have the sense to ask for help when I need it. I'm hanging in there, staying positive, and remembering to breathe deeply when the pain gets to be too much.

Full Moon, June 5, 2010

I'm trying to pick a favorite painting that I made this year, I'm happy with so many of them, I had to scale back to picking one that I'm glad did not sell...it's hanging on my studio wall where I can see it every day. I remember how I went at this painting with a 'fuck it' attitude, it had such a bad start and I was getting frustrated with it, so I just started to make marks in random places...I was in my "zone", and was very happy while I worked...I truly painted this one for myself. (I posted the favorites at my other blog Follow Your Bliss http://ohdrat.blogspot.com/)

Hands down, my favorite book this year has to be A Writer's Diary

I read a whole bunch of cool books this year...thought I'd share a few here:


The Journal of Joyce Carol Oates 1973-1982
Isak Dinesen, Out of Africa
Joyce Carol Oates, Little Bird of Heaven (a signed copy!)
Ondaatje, Divisadero
Poppy Adams, The Sister
Virginia Woolf, A Writer’s Diary
Audrey Niffenegger, Her Fearful Symmetry
Sherwood Anderson, Winesburg, Ohio
E. M. Forster, The Celestial Omnibus
Nichole Krauss, The History of Love
Janet Frame, Towards Another Summer
Rikki Ducornet, The Stain
Angela Carter, Magic Toy Shop
Joyce Carol Oates, A Bloodsmoor Romance
Iris Murdock, The Sea, the Sea


Books of Poetry that I’ve carried around in my purse this year:

If Not, Winter, poems of Sappho (ed. Anne Carson)
Kay Ryan, Flamingo Watching
Catherine Daly, Da Da Da (I’m still carrying this one around)

Favorite books that I opened to read random passages from:

Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

Virginia Woolf, The Waves
John Cowper Powys, Porius
Virginia Woolf, Night and Day
Joyce Carol Oates, Bellefleur
Joyce Carol Oates, Wonderland
E.M. Forster, Howards End
Ray Bradbury, Dandelion Wine

Books started in 2010 to finish in 2011:
Virginia Woolf, The Years

Charles Dickens, Tale of Two Cities
Isak Dinesen, The Gothic Tales
David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest (e-book, reading on my laptop using the NOOK app)

Sunburst, 2010

A full year and a full life. I am content.

Sunflower, August 14, 2010

Opening night at The Gallery...

June 25th 2010 6-9PM

Me waving 'hi' to the camera...welcome to our big night at The Gallery...

The little corner desk (Painted by Suzanne) with my little books on it...

Another of the many crowd shots...

Will you just look at that awesome art?


This is the four of us, Ken Nichols, my Fred, me, and Suzanne Masters!


Me n' my Fred...my paintings and his stone sculptures...

How about that awesome moonrise?

Hanging out outside near the end...before the mosquitoes chased us inside...

And I wore my 'birthday shoes' and showed them off to anyone who I thought would find them cool...most women did...what woman wouldn't want a pair of 'fancy shoes'?

The end of the night... we were tired, buzzing with the last bits of energy, and all of us very pleased with our opening...

I did get to wear my author hat a few times during the night, there was a good deal of interest in that little stack of books on the desk...one fella was pondering the books, and said to me he always wanted to write...I told him, "Just do it." Well, you know, it ain't going to happen if you don't...don't let you stop you from following your dreams, your bliss... Last night was all about that...this little shop turned into a gallery and what was once a flight of fancy became a reality, the crowd proved that it can be done... but there's lots of hard work ahead to keep it going, we can't just let it go... a book signing event is going to happen...a possible reading... and other activities...fun stuff...

It's rainbow season...

On the evening of May 5th the conditions were just right, rain in the east, the sun setting in the west and a big rainbow shimmered above our old barn...

...and the maple tree to the north (it was a double for a bit)...

...and the other end to the south... it's a magical time of year on the hilltop...I love running out into the rain to catch these fleeting moments in the sky...

Pretty stuff from my digital sketchbook...the new leaves are lovely...

The red maple...

My old friend in a different season...

There's this old honey suckle bush that must be as old as our farmhouse with a gnarly trunk... I've been photographing it this week, lots of the photos look like my pencil drawings...


Like this one from my sketchbook, "May"...

No book cover yet for White Light, I've been under the weather for several days now, Fibromyalgia has been kicking my butt in a bad way... I can only describe it as feeling like I've been shoved into a trash compactor and there's someone who keeps turning it on and turning it off all day... it's better today, but still there in a hum set on low... I push through it and often accomplish more than I think I can... it's better than rolling up in a ball in bed (tho' sometimes that is necessary.) Maybe tonight we'll work on it, all the elements are there, it's just piecing things together so it becomes the recognizable image of the book, I'd like to get it done this weekend, get it off my plate and move on to the next project...

Dusty Waters received another positive review from a reader (to read it go to: http://thecajunbooklady.blogspot.com/) she won the book in the Library Thing Giveaway... I am always so grateful when a reader takes the time to write a review and posts it on Goodreads, Amazon, Library Thing, and their blog (if they have one)... I'm working with a shoestring budget and word of mouth is priceless!

May...

This pert little face looked up at me from the rock wall with it's "Who do you think you are?" greeting...I love the wee viola's known as Johnny Jump-ups... who do I think I am indeed... some days I wonder...

The book signing went well yesterday, I sold and signed a few copies... met with a young lady who is in the process of becoming a writer, and while her mom was in line paying for a signed copy of Dusty Waters, she meekly came back and said "Can I talk to you?" She pulled up a chair and asked "How...?" And so I told her... finish this book, but most of all practice, patience... and don't forget to have fun...

Although we had a lovely chat there's this part of me worrying... Wait, who do I think I am? I'm still muddling along, sure I have a book published, and altho' I'm doing better than I ever imagined a year ago at this time... my sales report wasn't "zero" for the month of April, I have a new 5 star review on Amazon, so I'm doing something right... I have an author chat coming up at Library Thing starting May 10th (about Dusty Waters of course)... my second novel is on the cusp of being published... I just need to get a cover ready... but is it enough? What did I forget to tell her?

What I forgot to tell this young lady is this, sometimes there's more uncertainty than certainty on a good day... don't lose heart. It won't be your first book that will get published, it might be the fourth one you write, or the tenth one... no matter what, set your goal to keep going forward. Soak up experience, write, keep your mind open to new stories, write, listen to that special voice that's whispering to you, write. You want to be a writer... be a writer... write every day because you love it. Don't write for the money. Look at it as an investment... invest in time, invest in the tools you need, invest in your words, make them right, make them tell the story the way you want it... it's a labor of love.

It was a hot weekend, the lilacs are blooming... coming around the back corner of the house this morning, the smell of lilac beauty hit me... here they waver on the afternoon breeze...