Welcome to my blog Upstate Girl, (a.k.a Follow Your Bliss Part II), I am an independently published author. This blog is all about writing and the stuff that inspires me to write, the joys and obstacles that come along with the writer's life, and my fascination with the psychology of people and what makes them tick...the human condition, as is...and my love for words, playing with them and making sense of them...and I throw in a few photos from my acre of the world just to make things pretty...sometimes there are things I have no words for, only pictures will do.

*Copyright notice* All photos, writing, and artwork are mine (
© Laura J. Wellner), unless otherwise noted, please be a peach, if you'd like to use my work for a project or you just love it and must have it, message me and we'll work out the details...it's simple...JUST ASK, please.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

I don't know...

It seems I say this a lot lately...I don't know...just coming up with a post this weekend has been clouded over with a fog of unknown, so I'm going to wing it here...it seems there's a good deal of people out there grappling with a similar unsettled feeling of unknown...the "Where am I going?" question.

How do you get there?

Keep going forward, aim for a goal, do what you gotta do to achieve it.

Don't forget to have a good time. (Ani DiFranco's latest mantra, I'm sure the Little Folksinger won't mind if I share it with you.)

This little drawing on my table in the upstairs studio hadn't changed much...

...because I didn't know where else to go with it...then I added to it, and I feared I ruined it and should've left it alone...well, when that happens, I just take it in hand and really do something to it to mess it up some more...there are some things that will get worse before they get better...it's too sopping wet at the moment to take a picture...I'll post the result another day...

I've been struggling with a new manuscript, it's rawness is troubling me. I'm pulling things out of my head, but not fast enough to suit me...not quite writers block (thank goodness), but I'm feeling impatient with the process. Along with that, I'm impatient with the process of getting published. I'm still mailing queries to agents (although sporadically because I'm picky about who I write to, and research them to death before I actually send the letter.) Thankfully, I've stopped the agonizing depression part after receiving the rejection letters. Don't get me wrong, I still feel disappointed, but I'm less indignant about it, it' s just business, it's nothing personal. That doesn't mean the frustration factor isn't any better. I have one book that's ready to be self-published, but I'm hesitant to do it just because I'd rather go about the more traditional way of getting a book on the shelf with the backing of a publisher, rather than me with my pitiful resources. (I'll let you know when I'm ready to take the plunge.)

Writers tend to chase their emotional tails a lot...no wonder we like to tip a few...

I'm also feeling uncertain because of my health issues, Fibromyalgia is a pain in the ass (and everywhere else.) I try to maintain a sense of humor about it, but it's getting old fast...I'm tired of feeling 86 rather than 46. At least it won't kill me, right? My coping skills are maxed out.

There's a lot of uncertainty out there, nationally and personally...so I don't know is all about that too...

Some of this I don't know business has to do with things I'm missing, and was recently reminded about my love of horses by fellow blogger, Kate...several months ago, I found this picture of a mustang on the BLM website where people can go to adopt horses that have been rounded up from the public lands...I fell in love with this little fella's face and his fuzzy ears, I don't know what happened to him, I hope he found a good home (isn't that velvety soft muzzle kissable?)

Honestly, I'd rather see them free to roam.

This winter is getting on my nerves...March is coming...the light at the end of the tunnel. I was checking the pussy willow bush down by the garden, I saw the silvery tips of kitty toes sticking out, there's a fuzzy bit of hope...(she smiles at a furry little friend who just found a paper bag to be a play thing, the little clown.)

So, I don't know...did I do what I set out to do with this post? Maybe a little.

This pencil drawing's title is I Want More Out of Life... says it all...I really do love this drawing!


Pat said...

I think alot of people (friends, as well as relatives) feel that we are at a crossroads. That phrasing is not so accurate...they feel that They personally at at a crossroads. Maybe that is a good thing because we get to choose a better, freer path. I hope!
I do believe that things do get sorted out.
I hope all of that for you.

Pat said...

Sorry about the "alot" but with two kittens on the computer, I can't type very well.
A lot!