tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9452805871286404792024-02-19T10:45:34.757-05:00Upstate GirlLaura J. Wellner (author pseudonym Laura J. W. Ryan)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02521328695400639226noreply@blogger.comBlogger249125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-945280587128640479.post-53121396377386381222019-05-12T16:48:00.001-04:002019-05-12T16:48:02.094-04:00Amanda Palmer - A Mother's Confession (Official Audio)<br /><br />
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Happy Mother's Day!Laura J. Wellner (author pseudonym Laura J. W. Ryan)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02521328695400639226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-945280587128640479.post-87598938506092934402018-08-31T07:07:00.002-04:002018-08-31T07:07:26.958-04:00The Suns...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBSpqwvnqHiL7YfFgMGaU7f4Rxr3XMGZbKM0dcsup_kDu40rci7inq-Sd9fibIo-MnZd4APmvoNdVpuk5X67ESIVa07obLwUo0aFVFkMyDWu0aub1Hqm0xlfkJUj1DcgLcem-pVf1fhGX2/s1600/DSC04505+bw+8+11+2018.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="480" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBSpqwvnqHiL7YfFgMGaU7f4Rxr3XMGZbKM0dcsup_kDu40rci7inq-Sd9fibIo-MnZd4APmvoNdVpuk5X67ESIVa07obLwUo0aFVFkMyDWu0aub1Hqm0xlfkJUj1DcgLcem-pVf1fhGX2/s640/DSC04505+bw+8+11+2018.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
It was fun creeping around in the "forest" of sunflowers to get this shot...Laura J. Wellner (author pseudonym Laura J. W. Ryan)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02521328695400639226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-945280587128640479.post-37972007461527976492018-03-04T10:28:00.002-05:002018-03-04T10:28:40.510-05:00Sacred Cows<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhFKC9wplUhXhcyhUcZvN5FZHrezs2ZvOVexlkMju-cTasEgHnlKsr8ZGoDSwzr0BhYwI5W7vyekt2X2He72JxnaochwJizhwu-UwUPIfM4sPdwYcdWjAOJYDKEaoPH8jkuJvUAFlhVMad/s1600/fog+DSC09596+3+28+2017.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="384" data-original-width="576" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhFKC9wplUhXhcyhUcZvN5FZHrezs2ZvOVexlkMju-cTasEgHnlKsr8ZGoDSwzr0BhYwI5W7vyekt2X2He72JxnaochwJizhwu-UwUPIfM4sPdwYcdWjAOJYDKEaoPH8jkuJvUAFlhVMad/s400/fog+DSC09596+3+28+2017.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I opened the barn door to the sacred cows, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
set open the gates,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and let them out to pasture. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sweet, placid, not a care in the world—</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>“Behold—it is just a cow.”</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes, a cow—chewing cud. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Pissing, shitting, eating, sleeping.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Swishing away flies. Large liquid brown eyes.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We milk them. And milk them. And milk them.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A cow is just a cow. Is a cow.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cow doesn’t care about you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cow doesn’t care about rituals.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cow doesn’t give a crap about religion.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cow doesn’t give a fuck about politics.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cow doesn’t give a shit</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A cow is just a cow. Is a cow. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now that they’re all out</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I shut the barn door.</div>
Laura J. Wellner (author pseudonym Laura J. W. Ryan)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02521328695400639226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-945280587128640479.post-87818662026552963342017-05-27T10:42:00.001-04:002017-05-27T10:42:52.537-04:00Another Trip Around the Sun...<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjRdTBwGZFQnhu6N-9cXfax6zkue9am9By5pEDSadKOXOhrqdzqljqlSM84_AZWwtPIeRsvfuLZs2Wvp0tVniS_6qFnRDBE7KrAOVgQ97lZqjFhjKlgtVqjZSQ9t0nbY__e01q2IuH6WxR/s1600/Lake+Ontario+from+Chimney+Bluffs+DSC00071.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="398" data-original-width="576" height="276" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjRdTBwGZFQnhu6N-9cXfax6zkue9am9By5pEDSadKOXOhrqdzqljqlSM84_AZWwtPIeRsvfuLZs2Wvp0tVniS_6qFnRDBE7KrAOVgQ97lZqjFhjKlgtVqjZSQ9t0nbY__e01q2IuH6WxR/s400/Lake+Ontario+from+Chimney+Bluffs+DSC00071.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lake Ontario, the View from Chimney Bluffs</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I recently celebrated my 55th trip around the sun...otherwise known as my birthday. It was a happy one, my Fred surprised me with a trip to one of my favorite places in the world, Lake Ontario...specifically, Chimney Bluffs. I was born in Lyons, NY so Sunday drives with the family often brought us to the cobblestone beaches of the big lake. Our weather is often dictated by this lake...in winter it's the Lake Effect snow, even rain falls into this special steady category...our persistent gray clouds, great ethereal boulders that tumble overhead, or the layered sedimentary slate stratus. This lake is special to me.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcp3Xeedflst9pzmO7lkjFo47C15FDWzQWQITdxFaSGJjYw5X2GdcMiqG_huC1xxszSpNnX8Ws6XqW-_b9NEJlyQt1hIoPjWrKLTElVS8-GzptAtn86DGLN1mJb-B5A_5jBg4E4ncvVsXB/s1600/Laura+at+Pultneyville.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="890" data-original-width="1343" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcp3Xeedflst9pzmO7lkjFo47C15FDWzQWQITdxFaSGJjYw5X2GdcMiqG_huC1xxszSpNnX8Ws6XqW-_b9NEJlyQt1hIoPjWrKLTElVS8-GzptAtn86DGLN1mJb-B5A_5jBg4E4ncvVsXB/s400/Laura+at+Pultneyville.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me at Lake Ontario, c. 1969 </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7AgGqAIucAeJPwTVeXFP_9GCA0uHXp5giLwQ0_HxgrjbdOpSstmp_u83h2oX9slo-OjftdOVIizncMeI8wY9svysniY_iZXx_c60Nz5vDYTS6Z_6bnZumgrjbXNV1B3GjmPWSd78E_KLJ/s1600/Lake+Ontario+from+Chimney+Bluffs+DSC00127.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="384" data-original-width="576" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7AgGqAIucAeJPwTVeXFP_9GCA0uHXp5giLwQ0_HxgrjbdOpSstmp_u83h2oX9slo-OjftdOVIizncMeI8wY9svysniY_iZXx_c60Nz5vDYTS6Z_6bnZumgrjbXNV1B3GjmPWSd78E_KLJ/s400/Lake+Ontario+from+Chimney+Bluffs+DSC00127.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Chimney Bluffs.They have eroded quite a bit since I last saw them...still spectacular.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbZaJc5OjKtnoqjrZjQ4rqyz5yztOgahF78SjhCPv_b95mMKyQciAFAx2-yp2E1C92DW-KBr7NCap4NLmukv_5Q_5JxhtAZqWVsnTPlb9QptW6tC8A3ha7WUzvnWhVbzgomRzBSkLCkWOA/s1600/Beach+Stones+Lake+Ontario+5+9+2017.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="384" data-original-width="576" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbZaJc5OjKtnoqjrZjQ4rqyz5yztOgahF78SjhCPv_b95mMKyQciAFAx2-yp2E1C92DW-KBr7NCap4NLmukv_5Q_5JxhtAZqWVsnTPlb9QptW6tC8A3ha7WUzvnWhVbzgomRzBSkLCkWOA/s400/Beach+Stones+Lake+Ontario+5+9+2017.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Beach Stones, their colors and shapes are so beautiful to me.</td></tr>
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<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdCm3pPyrnOxBwlnmsZkUhGvklwtF6hGnNfxlhCImw1NJ0G2AITv-PagGmGnqdH2oqHsmeFHNvR7LkRvKuHKCd3IAuFLBnXZIIPIAM28NxFs1iNmv8YttGrVa-OkGyQexs-kxUiT0DEpUx/s1600/Beach+Lake+Ontario+the+wave+DSC00056+5+9+2017.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="480" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdCm3pPyrnOxBwlnmsZkUhGvklwtF6hGnNfxlhCImw1NJ0G2AITv-PagGmGnqdH2oqHsmeFHNvR7LkRvKuHKCd3IAuFLBnXZIIPIAM28NxFs1iNmv8YttGrVa-OkGyQexs-kxUiT0DEpUx/s400/Beach+Lake+Ontario+the+wave+DSC00056+5+9+2017.jpg" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Wave</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
It was such a treat to be at the Lake and hear its voice again, I can't explain it, but it's one of those places that makes me extremely happy. One of those things I have no words for...<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIqePmSmopAmvOpNCW1wirR-KA0UQ6KHszKwISb9-uM8oUHlZyJN4bmpYNl_F8e_ZHP_Z6N49gK7M5jK94jO6BKhuIa5uesHtMvro3N4rzg04P7m0CGVuoxe8BNAkvH6VlXi0s0Dp7TphA/s1600/Beach+Stones+Lake+Ontario+DSC00029+5+9+2017.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="518" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIqePmSmopAmvOpNCW1wirR-KA0UQ6KHszKwISb9-uM8oUHlZyJN4bmpYNl_F8e_ZHP_Z6N49gK7M5jK94jO6BKhuIa5uesHtMvro3N4rzg04P7m0CGVuoxe8BNAkvH6VlXi0s0Dp7TphA/s400/Beach+Stones+Lake+Ontario+DSC00029+5+9+2017.jpg" width="287" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Beach Stones</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaz-QlI-Txfkmc6gSHnYcupRWh05xzRaK8pFnXOjGipmxERfZNK2kThVh1YSxHojWcJzd90LYKcanSUG904Qbrwd5CgxiRY0QucfEUYJAUp2sCok_XUXXd_g0tuAwz-KTut4PHiSP80a4x/s1600/Beach+Stones+and+Driftwood+Lake+Ontario+DSC00040+5+9+2017.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="480" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaz-QlI-Txfkmc6gSHnYcupRWh05xzRaK8pFnXOjGipmxERfZNK2kThVh1YSxHojWcJzd90LYKcanSUG904Qbrwd5CgxiRY0QucfEUYJAUp2sCok_XUXXd_g0tuAwz-KTut4PHiSP80a4x/s400/Beach+Stones+and+Driftwood+Lake+Ontario+DSC00040+5+9+2017.jpg" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Beach Stones</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Beach Stones and Driftwood</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqh_6rIXOWaeH6KzyNVOjS5H_hNDRlX_YxataaVAtYGil6nbSK9_0yZT8QY4ZOLckV-uzFC4Ot3KrBDnpEsWFc25rT23bjOQ_val-hU_x0bQRfNMvARHuK7XWVd4N30diq5nnW6cp8Nbcs/s1600/Beach+Driftwood+Lake+Ontario+bw+cr+DSC00052+5+9+2017.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="491" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqh_6rIXOWaeH6KzyNVOjS5H_hNDRlX_YxataaVAtYGil6nbSK9_0yZT8QY4ZOLckV-uzFC4Ot3KrBDnpEsWFc25rT23bjOQ_val-hU_x0bQRfNMvARHuK7XWVd4N30diq5nnW6cp8Nbcs/s400/Beach+Driftwood+Lake+Ontario+bw+cr+DSC00052+5+9+2017.jpg" width="272" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Driftwood</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwYVuBBHAVxL6WDoPUNxyepo0blpzX4Y_mHREqixPaSeDtcEiD4jmmW-y_HiBohTa1LPE7YcRxSjvm_QsrqQWzHZmv87-G8zU5pWeTeD-w7zL_-tdukGSbv1mywYf_xyb9zWLU20QmXr7-/s1600/Beach+Driftwood+Lake+Ontario+DSC00041+5+9+2017.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="480" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwYVuBBHAVxL6WDoPUNxyepo0blpzX4Y_mHREqixPaSeDtcEiD4jmmW-y_HiBohTa1LPE7YcRxSjvm_QsrqQWzHZmv87-G8zU5pWeTeD-w7zL_-tdukGSbv1mywYf_xyb9zWLU20QmXr7-/s400/Beach+Driftwood+Lake+Ontario+DSC00041+5+9+2017.jpg" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Beach Bones</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Then at the top of the bluffs, the woods...and the wildflowers...oh the Trillium and Jack-in the-Pulpits were beautiful! I haven't seen Jacks in a very long time.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpx5rQtrARl7GpF0ZLAZot7pdA0G4JBRbTsEJHoolPsnF2TZzITplICjdGgiZAL5PmXiGNUzdhtcwT0ZWpS1uCHStdq3x9O4q0p-FhEE6mlejLP6CBZGc4M5bd87oKHnlzN75yYDh8jpho/s1600/Trillium+DSC00077+5+9+2017.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="466" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpx5rQtrARl7GpF0ZLAZot7pdA0G4JBRbTsEJHoolPsnF2TZzITplICjdGgiZAL5PmXiGNUzdhtcwT0ZWpS1uCHStdq3x9O4q0p-FhEE6mlejLP6CBZGc4M5bd87oKHnlzN75yYDh8jpho/s400/Trillium+DSC00077+5+9+2017.jpg" width="258" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Trillium</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjEu-G4T79Mu_Dw41TNkNp8QLMhAb5ldvIGcOQ8KFWVGTrt-fTmNv3kXBFuReFJy8Azlr4jsgEEll3xd6laV-F45D5yKoC6UuOaan0fO_rNX_E33uGHYwNXnmoi4fhnsuljJQ-1E5bOI4R/s1600/Trillium+DSC00153+5+9+2017.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="491" data-original-width="576" height="340" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjEu-G4T79Mu_Dw41TNkNp8QLMhAb5ldvIGcOQ8KFWVGTrt-fTmNv3kXBFuReFJy8Azlr4jsgEEll3xd6laV-F45D5yKoC6UuOaan0fO_rNX_E33uGHYwNXnmoi4fhnsuljJQ-1E5bOI4R/s400/Trillium+DSC00153+5+9+2017.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Stars in the Forest</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjKP9jlv6Od3j2XMsDS93RiWcSZu-6iE73IJBYRrUqLZXUI3WIU5DIARMNB_Hok9dbr8uo88uJq16fZZvQjFVJeAgNxWEiVIeNSgpCi6up3qEjD8L1JjH6__9A-KZnaY97IXhFF9vw6cUM/s1600/Trillium+DSC00091+5+9+2017.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="529" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjKP9jlv6Od3j2XMsDS93RiWcSZu-6iE73IJBYRrUqLZXUI3WIU5DIARMNB_Hok9dbr8uo88uJq16fZZvQjFVJeAgNxWEiVIeNSgpCi6up3qEjD8L1JjH6__9A-KZnaY97IXhFF9vw6cUM/s400/Trillium+DSC00091+5+9+2017.jpg" width="293" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Trillium</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxQHLYS2iPl2yDnIf_clNttN6xmukoRCmk8cVT3u1UfsxfsV6GJDYz73Omcgl1A3l5ZnriIwcqKbRNuE_X6e4riuwMoIu_xOj5ttgzkBW-0z2_zbJrbt4PxsvgByWE2Xa-9DXCFG5MvaJs/s1600/jack+in+the+pulpit+cr+DSC00067.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="494" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxQHLYS2iPl2yDnIf_clNttN6xmukoRCmk8cVT3u1UfsxfsV6GJDYz73Omcgl1A3l5ZnriIwcqKbRNuE_X6e4riuwMoIu_xOj5ttgzkBW-0z2_zbJrbt4PxsvgByWE2Xa-9DXCFG5MvaJs/s400/jack+in+the+pulpit+cr+DSC00067.jpg" width="273" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jack in the Pulpit</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIgFvUSUOY-dqvv0zUigfWQTIBv2DrIaHFcMKmNGoVOMgSKGDN-NXcHIQzoCPkqtxJkJnUhIuxzRsTzFOypNCYBL2xRMFU36wr26dN1yg2wZDwQBMqDl5V_PlT34NXXSZFJiD-OwcGz_y2/s1600/jack+in+the+pulpit+crcloser+DSC00067.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="589" data-original-width="576" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIgFvUSUOY-dqvv0zUigfWQTIBv2DrIaHFcMKmNGoVOMgSKGDN-NXcHIQzoCPkqtxJkJnUhIuxzRsTzFOypNCYBL2xRMFU36wr26dN1yg2wZDwQBMqDl5V_PlT34NXXSZFJiD-OwcGz_y2/s400/jack+in+the+pulpit+crcloser+DSC00067.jpg" width="390" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jack in the Pulpit</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh9WXjjVAkllydLMvpSuz8loQk_aULnk8Lb7KvNq9T9WVh8_bO6DOA12ccbO86ArFyec42V6LMeI9ZtBSF5TciTVHbLU7uXhh9AP3r-y6dfXMOuPmKZN1_hEB2mO4VHpE8BNcteakMtFZD/s1600/Stones+from+the+beach+on+my+birthday+DSC00178+5+9+2017.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="480" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh9WXjjVAkllydLMvpSuz8loQk_aULnk8Lb7KvNq9T9WVh8_bO6DOA12ccbO86ArFyec42V6LMeI9ZtBSF5TciTVHbLU7uXhh9AP3r-y6dfXMOuPmKZN1_hEB2mO4VHpE8BNcteakMtFZD/s400/Stones+from+the+beach+on+my+birthday+DSC00178+5+9+2017.jpg" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The specially marked beach stones. I love finding these, and will get my feet wet fetching them out of the waves!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I had such a lovely day.Laura J. Wellner (author pseudonym Laura J. W. Ryan)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02521328695400639226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-945280587128640479.post-7389151149902968632017-04-29T15:55:00.000-04:002017-04-29T15:55:00.698-04:00Going with the flow...<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhREvnDWUrrfe4KrpNhBXHSkAS_ixWguW8Rq1nwobcXA2uLb5YDUG3RTY4-mgpLH2nhD57QMvtaj5NKQOrGtUY46BZD3qfWr3xgs5bJ3J_z-1K0wUAEPqSB6cCmOod3dEILYbcDZPBUowSK/s1600/Go+with+the+Flow%252C+Sketches%252C+I+Am+4+23+2017_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="411" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhREvnDWUrrfe4KrpNhBXHSkAS_ixWguW8Rq1nwobcXA2uLb5YDUG3RTY4-mgpLH2nhD57QMvtaj5NKQOrGtUY46BZD3qfWr3xgs5bJ3J_z-1K0wUAEPqSB6cCmOod3dEILYbcDZPBUowSK/s640/Go+with+the+Flow%252C+Sketches%252C+I+Am+4+23+2017_.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Going with the flow, sketches, artist book, ink wash on rag papers, 4/23/2017</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Today. April 29th. Oh – today – it’s been 18 years since I
started writing my books. I opened up a salt n’ pepper notebook and
started writing the first novel that I would ever complete. (I finished
writing it on October 29th 1999.) I had a lot of stories that I started
and discarded before this, but this is the day that I became more
certain about what I must do. The first one, <em>Washed Glass</em> – is
not yet published. Being the first one, it’s a bit of a mess. (I know it
is a mess, but it’s a good kind of mess, my sitting on it for almost 20
years has granted me to become a better writer, so I can do it right
this time around.) Without that first book, there wouldn’t be the
others, while writing it, I found the other stories that became <em>Dusty Waters, a Ghost Story, The Fractured Hues of White Light, and Drinking from the Fishbowl</em>, and there’s also the drafts of <em>Layers of Illusion</em> and <em>Wish</em> that are waiting their turn for my attention. They’re all connected, kind of like Faulkner’s <span class="st">Yoknapatawpha County,</span>
the characters know one another, and everyone has their story, but the
books themselves are independent, they’re not a continuous series with a
specific order. It’s complicated, but not. Anyway, it makes me extremely happy when I reach this day and look back and remember that first day, that old notebook, and the ink stains on my fingers from the pen that started to leak.<br />
<br />
I'm still puttering my way through the first page proof of <i>Drinking from the Fishbowl</i>, I’m taking my sweet old time. I’m looking the spots off of it. I found a
few flubs-ups, but nothing too awful. And as always, while I’m working
on a book, I’m insecure about it, my inner critic is being a real
asshole to me along the way, so the inner battering has been a bit rough
going. I expect to make another dent or two in it today.<br />
<br />
The artwork in the photo above is an artist book that I made last weekend and had the best time making it - just going with the flow - ink, brushes, water, paper, and randomness, accidents, and inspiration. There is no top or bottom, left or right, front or back, this or that - it's probably one of the most personal pieces of artwork I made in a very long time - it's made from the things that I have no words for... Laura J. Wellner (author pseudonym Laura J. W. Ryan)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02521328695400639226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-945280587128640479.post-70981038391565707902017-03-11T08:18:00.000-05:002017-03-11T08:18:19.442-05:00An end of an era, Crouching Tigger-Hidden Pooh 1998-2017<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0KN5h8NJflca6F643RxB3MquAUP2qb4JCpyVdIUV5seMvg8v-ynWxyObZRRGpvfHPiCe-Jw7hdT1rN3qfnk4_A8ukKQeRpQUEOECg4WJnldb5Be7eHP8bRGVpivAFt6Iu17efMczcQWsq/s1600/20160924_134850.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0KN5h8NJflca6F643RxB3MquAUP2qb4JCpyVdIUV5seMvg8v-ynWxyObZRRGpvfHPiCe-Jw7hdT1rN3qfnk4_A8ukKQeRpQUEOECg4WJnldb5Be7eHP8bRGVpivAFt6Iu17efMczcQWsq/s400/20160924_134850.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">One of the best of tabbies I’ve known passed away in the early morning of March 5th. God speed old friend, we will miss you, but we’re sure to meet again
someday. At first, he was just named Tigger, because it was easy to name a
ginger cat with stripes after the bouncy-pouncy lovable tiger from the world of
Winnie-the-Pooh. We also called him Tiggy for short. At least, the record at
the vet’s office said that was his name when we brought him there for his first
shots and then to be neutered. It felt foreign to us when they insisted on
calling him “Tigger” when we brought him by for the various things over the
years, because his name evolved beyond the initial christening out of necessity...you see, when he was born, it was the year of the "Horrible Horde" - the litter of 1998. (Actually there were three litters, three feral mom cats, plus the remaining roamers from the litter of 1997, and our original three we brought with us when we moved from the city to the country, there were thirty cats out there - yes, 3-0, 30!) But I digress... we had noticed that he would "coo" a lot and it sounded like he said
“Pooh!” So his name melded to Tiggy-Pooh, and then his full name became
Crouching Tigger-Hidden Pooh, which we ripped off from an episode of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Whose Line is it Anyway? </i>Funny, isn’t it?
Tiggy-Pooh, Tiggy-bug, Pooh-bug, Burbles, Pooh-wow, Meer-meer, little fellow
wearing yellow, Mellow Yellow, Bumblebee…some of the many names he was called
over the years. Mostly he was Pooh or Tiggy, whatever name came to the lips when talking to or about him, he responded to both.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">His passing is an end of an era because he is the last of the litter of 1998. The remaining four former wandering paws are all drop offs that arrived after 2002, and one came from the city that my son brought home one day. (I really need to compile these cat tales into a book someday.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIGm-vjzM9a_zOyXK0UU8hFPZNwdcRCbaiwDieklqQEq4_LHL-GZYqPfXwON-GOZAifgPme3rm5cSmBYNczirqKJqil5_El7mcepi5ALAL39zlTKmyicvyDp5fNBjQcg9JonceduBsQvTo/s1600/DSCF3136.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIGm-vjzM9a_zOyXK0UU8hFPZNwdcRCbaiwDieklqQEq4_LHL-GZYqPfXwON-GOZAifgPme3rm5cSmBYNczirqKJqil5_El7mcepi5ALAL39zlTKmyicvyDp5fNBjQcg9JonceduBsQvTo/s320/DSCF3136.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He was a catnip addict...but what cat isn't?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> Nineteen years ago Pooh was squirming around inside his mommy’s
belly—she was Calico. (It’s what we ended up calling the little wild mamma cat.
She was very sweet. She eventually came inside to live with us when the winter
came and she decided she had had enough being wild.) His father, probably the
ginger and white tomcat who never stuck around to be named, but his calling
card lingered on our screen door letting us know he had passed through. The last
time I saw him, he looked rough like he had been in a fight, he still had
enough grit to look at me over his shoulder with a foul stink-eye that I knew
to leave be. The classic old country Tom cat, big round head, scrawny and
brawny, busy fighting and fucking, scratching fleas, and catching a fur-covered
snack-pack for a meal. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Calico brought around her little brood of six kittens to
our side of the road—they were born in Bill’s barn on the other side of the road, that
deadly broad piece of asphalt—there were six of them, cluttered underneath the lilac
bushes on Memorial Day weekend, wary of people, hissing and running away, skittish. A black and white
tuxedo kitten, one solid gray, two gray with white mittens and tums, and two ginger
tabbies with white mittens and tums, Tiggy-Pooh was one of them. It’s amazing
that I can still remember each one. All boys. I watched Calico teach them to
wait at the end of the driveway, look and listen before crossing the road.
They’d tumble along after her when she knew it was safe. When we were giving
away kittens that year, one of the neighbors came by to look at them, Tiggy-Pooh,
his twin brother, and one of Charlotte’s little gray and white girls (Mittens)
were left. The twin was chosen, Tiggy-Pooh was too shy. Mittens, although the
lady thought she was very beautiful, felt she was too freaked out, and was not
at all cuddly. It was a relief to find a home for one of the six. The others
died by car, coyote, or just disappeared without a trace. One little gray
kitten I gave to two people out for a walk, and he was a tiny guy, and was
hanging around down by the mailbox, and since I heard them <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>talking pretty to him, and I said “You want
him, he’s free.” Who knows how his life turned out. I have to hope it was fine.
(They didn’t try to return him.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb8zccxJBjcTKRVMqE9t4Gi-8jmuEEsF2Jf7hwh5pwlRiAak3v1pYUkeLzBfqjtFHKt1AmBYoPPDdYP7fBfmbqCb_DWEKmaZKmupc6qEfFPg-h3m0UG_w5sPed44jF9G2fjM38pn3aE6ml/s1600/DSCF0795.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb8zccxJBjcTKRVMqE9t4Gi-8jmuEEsF2Jf7hwh5pwlRiAak3v1pYUkeLzBfqjtFHKt1AmBYoPPDdYP7fBfmbqCb_DWEKmaZKmupc6qEfFPg-h3m0UG_w5sPed44jF9G2fjM38pn3aE6ml/s320/DSCF0795.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Willy Big and Tiggy-Pooh</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil8QWs9dR0qipuAfq1cd6LbFfsmQ8RNQ0rr3frT37IcSB8I_XRK4tAWxVF9TjELM7PEaDCORD5K0bhxf9wBJslAeRCvAuP2j6fAqslOmDizOJPY6k-zwe4hVjTqHaNSjXTjc-RSzr4KEMN/s1600/DSCF0961.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil8QWs9dR0qipuAfq1cd6LbFfsmQ8RNQ0rr3frT37IcSB8I_XRK4tAWxVF9TjELM7PEaDCORD5K0bhxf9wBJslAeRCvAuP2j6fAqslOmDizOJPY6k-zwe4hVjTqHaNSjXTjc-RSzr4KEMN/s320/DSCF0961.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Big Three...Fatty Woo Hobbes, Tiggy-Pooh, and Willy Big</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Pooh has had a good long life—I figured his birth happened
in April for him to be toddling around by Memorial Day, his eyes were already changing to the gold/green, so considering that, he
was a passenger 19 years ago in his pretty calico mamma’s fuzzy belly, he’s
been with us a very long time... I remember seeing her trotting down the snowy
driveway one day, her belly so round, I scooped her up, and felt the kittens in
there. As I sat watching the light leave his eyes, I thought about his friends who
have gone before him, and how he would mourn their passing, carrying his tail
low behind him, almost as if it was broken. I even Googled it, wondering if it
were a strange symptom for something I’ve never seen before. Having as many
cats as I’ve had in the last twenty + years, I’ve seen a lot of things. No. He
was grieving in his own way. His tail was always expressive, and it was his
buddy. He loved his tail. He’d hug with it. </span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfUrFq0triSOkzhHL9pR2IsI61sGTwNA2H9zSU9G5Z5rfyRm_SiqSIW_hpLRuaiq9dRFAbHO2DNB0FBmxGwQYZLq2EFa1LGWDExuIS5KPPiHj9HeZtSzPjaYRLUExTZHF_k5U9W8olEV47/s1600/Max+and+his+buddy+Pooh+2010.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfUrFq0triSOkzhHL9pR2IsI61sGTwNA2H9zSU9G5Z5rfyRm_SiqSIW_hpLRuaiq9dRFAbHO2DNB0FBmxGwQYZLq2EFa1LGWDExuIS5KPPiHj9HeZtSzPjaYRLUExTZHF_k5U9W8olEV47/s320/Max+and+his+buddy+Pooh+2010.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pooh and Max</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> He always had to touch, if his paws
didn’t reach, he’d use his tail to touch a buddy sleeping near him on the bed.
If two cats were sleeping on the bed separately, he’d insert himself in between
the two and would have to touch them both.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUg3whWAb50BwIoocvYela6AojNENlK_mbo5Rst4iun5rkxsy3xFeaJ1gYYPAOoUlemQhkSSVmx1ObzaXiI17YIpHrm-i4Cf3xGq4WqLSdmPzumsxufavyTgK483udoAn94_bQy8aL1shv/s1600/DSCF0242.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUg3whWAb50BwIoocvYela6AojNENlK_mbo5Rst4iun5rkxsy3xFeaJ1gYYPAOoUlemQhkSSVmx1ObzaXiI17YIpHrm-i4Cf3xGq4WqLSdmPzumsxufavyTgK483udoAn94_bQy8aL1shv/s320/DSCF0242.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is Max's bed, always covered in cats, especially the Big Three.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZZ3NdpCLbM7ZX0HLVunUvQR1GrEdIykb3CEpFIJZxD8CXWzLGIcLvCT-tJrpuq7NWErcBAwBiZC8-CnARBF9JhWojphb4rku06kNByhTMzFvYVjjCqlGkKFJTMb37wyn_doRiQZZ6p1fa/s1600/20150903_192503.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZZ3NdpCLbM7ZX0HLVunUvQR1GrEdIykb3CEpFIJZxD8CXWzLGIcLvCT-tJrpuq7NWErcBAwBiZC8-CnARBF9JhWojphb4rku06kNByhTMzFvYVjjCqlGkKFJTMb37wyn_doRiQZZ6p1fa/s320/20150903_192503.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pooh with Charlie...and my shoes (I didn't need them.)</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3E4WqNPCG5mQvd_d4-_pfIGcJd7RhmslSu1l7VuBHHYU7BYNpdegPzOZZJnMTv2ZUFj__-7LA4HG6BGR0mxCC5WuREr1qGtAHUhwBIWcpNjWTZzUNYPCnQMBHbRIdONLVQGnOPeCL7vsE/s1600/DSCF7506.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3E4WqNPCG5mQvd_d4-_pfIGcJd7RhmslSu1l7VuBHHYU7BYNpdegPzOZZJnMTv2ZUFj__-7LA4HG6BGR0mxCC5WuREr1qGtAHUhwBIWcpNjWTZzUNYPCnQMBHbRIdONLVQGnOPeCL7vsE/s320/DSCF7506.JPG" width="220" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He knows how it works, he just doesn't have thumbs.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> He loved begging to go outside, he’d rattle the doorknob,
touch it with his front paws, sometimes even wrap his paws around it—he knew
how it worked (if only he had thumbs!) If any cat deserved to have thumbs, he
did. We’re certain that he had blue prints and volumes of notes regarding his
theories about how the doorknob worked. He was a smart little fellow. He also recited his Pooh-ems, his most famous ones were <i>Singing for My Supper,</i> <i>Nite-Nite Snack!, </i>and the rollicking<i> I Want to Go Outside.</i></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i></i></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbkQwJKAcrUv-KLHwFq5j-pT_oyYPJNsRKSIqEqPwhe8itwDyGW-zn49bLPaEy_46hki_OrPSmvZlUaIk9ElMM0Yx1lFoIYGq-efz2LocmXugoCihNPGDQQ-3ORHBjaus3MGd_q_QDM54D/s1600/20160308_210753.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbkQwJKAcrUv-KLHwFq5j-pT_oyYPJNsRKSIqEqPwhe8itwDyGW-zn49bLPaEy_46hki_OrPSmvZlUaIk9ElMM0Yx1lFoIYGq-efz2LocmXugoCihNPGDQQ-3ORHBjaus3MGd_q_QDM54D/s320/20160308_210753.jpg" width="320" /></a></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> He loved popcorn. (Pooh corn) Trust me, he didn't contemplate that for very long.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfmDRa99Mu66-54iewExmZQ7IGbwoTF12ObO1J2kAohmOWPvFNC99ZDVCBAr80deG4eQiz4Ac-rGBco2P_qXl5qtftY_RVqDgQfEIa8Ke5dVedY3T6YRenJk2XgFMNmea69FxKjb2CmOG1/s1600/Tiggy+Pooh+9+24+2016.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfmDRa99Mu66-54iewExmZQ7IGbwoTF12ObO1J2kAohmOWPvFNC99ZDVCBAr80deG4eQiz4Ac-rGBco2P_qXl5qtftY_RVqDgQfEIa8Ke5dVedY3T6YRenJk2XgFMNmea69FxKjb2CmOG1/s320/Tiggy+Pooh+9+24+2016.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">September 2016, an outing on a sunny morning</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> He passed away after I went to bed around 1AM almost a week ago, I had a feeling he was letting go soon and didn't know if he'd be still with us in the morning. I held his paws, and the little toes curled around my fingers, they were toasty warm, he was nestled in by the woodstove on Max's old bed, and was quietly dozing, making a soft rumbling purr. I had a feeling the light was keeping him awake, and thought maybe he wanted to be left alone. His friend, Charlie, was sleeping next to him, so he wasn't really alone, Charlie had been sticking by him all day, as if he knew that his old friend needed him. I kissed him goodnight, told him that I loved him, his paw curled around my finger. He left us with dignity and on his own terms.</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span></span>
Laura J. Wellner (author pseudonym Laura J. W. Ryan)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02521328695400639226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-945280587128640479.post-78501323854782041432017-01-21T15:34:00.002-05:002017-01-21T15:34:52.632-05:00Brought to you by...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeHUyQ00JuOMeUCuspreOQTqdf3LlDLKtYx1xEJGYe6rC9cD4bORenH1VqEVZXicz26cndNDUgYZamJD7czl0Y3fVXyGPBRiIoLBWQNFaWVqeRmtJ039SWmu4s6VTYJ7pxvwFtRPUvidUo/s1600/a+woman%2527s+place+is+in+the+resistance.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeHUyQ00JuOMeUCuspreOQTqdf3LlDLKtYx1xEJGYe6rC9cD4bORenH1VqEVZXicz26cndNDUgYZamJD7czl0Y3fVXyGPBRiIoLBWQNFaWVqeRmtJ039SWmu4s6VTYJ7pxvwFtRPUvidUo/s640/a+woman%2527s+place+is+in+the+resistance.jpg" width="472" /></a></div>
<br />Laura J. Wellner (author pseudonym Laura J. W. Ryan)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02521328695400639226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-945280587128640479.post-82750580609013809812017-01-16T15:40:00.002-05:002017-01-16T15:40:43.545-05:00My thoughts regarding "Batsof the Republic" by Zachary Thomas Dodson<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwNARxPPJtYML3_Cy4usPS3LDIUlSiCu3eS_vSKgnmFmcH5qGlQBEmptDfXfxH1Mu_GhW8hJ9NytkYbbxfI68trKhhgvLD5lztK8Nrku5PDRTjeQyBY2WjNy_epX9pUtZplayb530kE27v/s1600/Bats+of+the+republic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwNARxPPJtYML3_Cy4usPS3LDIUlSiCu3eS_vSKgnmFmcH5qGlQBEmptDfXfxH1Mu_GhW8hJ9NytkYbbxfI68trKhhgvLD5lztK8Nrku5PDRTjeQyBY2WjNy_epX9pUtZplayb530kE27v/s320/Bats+of+the+republic.jpg" width="210" /></a></div>
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A book—a novel—an illuminated novel—an art object. The
attention to detail is simply amazing—I’m green with envy and loving it. This
is the kind of book that one must take the time to look the spots off it—if you
know what I mean—if you don’t you might miss something. It’s magical when a
book is so well done, multi-layered like Russian <span class="st">matryoshka </span>dolls
and so full of a wealth of the story, a story within a story, within a story—a storytellers
book. I will want to read it again before too long. There are many theories
about what is real, what is history, there are possibilities of temporal loops—time
bending-mind bending—the bats and maps, diagrams, letters, transcriptions, drawings,
pictographs, symbols, descriptions, motivations—a sealed envelope inscribed “DO
NOT OPEN”, and instructions inside how to read the contents… A book—a novel—an
illuminated novel—an art object. It’s all good.</div>
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<![endif]--><br />Laura J. Wellner (author pseudonym Laura J. W. Ryan)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02521328695400639226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-945280587128640479.post-4999326905892730462017-01-14T15:08:00.000-05:002017-01-14T15:08:56.836-05:00My thoughts regarding "The Plains" by Gerald Murnane<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiJG1Ul_f0esyT0w9zxgZ2Xha5SrhtW9sLyGQhp-mN_jIsXjjWtVWHW-KJuzv4H11KIOdf151BurRfhe8skfRKSQpXMRB_6_n0l48ZeR6RcLPiFxmUbWcYBz3GSipj0DDPGLlXxSg6X_4m/s1600/Gerald+Murnane+The+Plains.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiJG1Ul_f0esyT0w9zxgZ2Xha5SrhtW9sLyGQhp-mN_jIsXjjWtVWHW-KJuzv4H11KIOdf151BurRfhe8skfRKSQpXMRB_6_n0l48ZeR6RcLPiFxmUbWcYBz3GSipj0DDPGLlXxSg6X_4m/s320/Gerald+Murnane+The+Plains.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Twenty years ago, when
I first arrived on the plains, I kept my eyes open. I looked for anything in
the landscape that seemed to hint at some elaborate meaning behind appearances.</i>
(P. 13)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And so it begins…this novel made me think a great deal about
our own country—even tho’ I finished reading it well before the 2016 election
results were decided, I was already well aware of the division between the
coastal, urban areas and the rural areas, especially the open plains. You know,
those “fly over” states in the middle—the Great Plains, the “Bread Basket” of
the nation, amber waves of grain and all that salt of the earth stuff. I know
there are some who look at that part of the USA map and think, “those red state
people who love Jesus, take the Bible literally, and don’t believe in
evolution.” Whatever. To each his own, they’re not hurting me none, and I mean
them no harm. You’d be surprised, we are more than what we seem, more than
anyone can imagine. Being from Upstate New York, I’ve seen a similar difference
between town and country—Upstate vs. New York City. There are Upstate people
who would love to cut off from NYC, many of the “us” up here resent the
audacity of those city slickers trying to impose their highfalutin ideas on us
simple folk in the great, lake effect, cold, white north—take that as you think
best, it can go either way. The people of the Midwest and the people I bump
elbows with outside of the realm of the academia bubble in the Upstate regions
are pretty much from the same cloth. And they feel left behind, the forgotten
America. Even though, I’ll never fit in with them, I do admire them for their honest, hardworking
ethics. Even the ones who are a hard scrabble lot who don’t know better, they
chronically do dumb things, and wind up doing time in jail for petty nonsense
they shouldn’t have done. I always sympathized with the ones on the outside,
even if they didn’t understand me at all, the ones who I befriended, tipped
their heads with curiosity and gave up on figuring me out. I wasn’t a threat,
just different. They’d talk, I’d listen to their stories. For as long as
there’s civilization, there will always be differences, factions, groups, and
each has their own ideas of how things are, and what is right—or wrong.
See…this is what I love about books, they get you thinkin’ about stuff…even if
the stuff has little to do with the book, there’s something about reading that
turns on the brain to travel in and around…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The plainsman’s
heroes, in life and in art, were such as the man who went home every afternoon
for thirty years to an unexceptional house with neat lawns and listless shrubs
and sat late into the night deciding on the route of a journey that he might
have followed for thirty years only to arrive at the place where he sat—or the
man who would never take even the one road that led away from his isolated
farmhouse for fear that he would not recognize the place if he saw it from the
distant vantage points that others used. </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">There were historians
who suggested that the phenomenon of the plains themselves was responsible for
the cultural differences between the plainsmen and Australians generally. The
exploration of the plains had been the major event in their history. What had
at first seemed utterly flat and featureless eventually disclosed a countless
subtle variations of landscape and an abundance of furtive wildlife. Trying to
appreciate and describe their discoveries, the plainsmen had become unusually
observant, discriminating, and receptive to gradual revelations of meaning.
Later generations responded to life and art as their forbears had confronted
the miles of grassland receding into haze. They saw the world itself as one
more in an endless series of plains.</i> (p. 18)</div>
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<br /></div>
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Wow—think about it. Ain’t it beautiful—universal truths and
all that—can you dig it? I thought you could.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The same landowner
began to describe other influences that he felt late at night in the more
remote wings of his house. He sensed sometimes the lingering persistence of
forces that had failed—of a history that had almost come into being. He found
himself looking into corners for the favourite pieces of the unborn children of
marriages that were never made. (P. 23)</i></div>
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<br /></div>
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I spent some time west of the Mississippi—a friend and I drove
13 ½ hours on Route 10 from Houston to El Paso once, (that was enough.) I saw a
changing landscape along the way, from humidity drenched heat to baked desert
dry—a big sky, a broad expanse all around with the ribbon of highway cutting
through, and then the shimmering haze of distant horizon—the horizon, the
future, the place you’re trying to get to—or get away from—depends on how you
want to look at it, I guess. I was far from home, and passing through, looking
for something outside of myself. I hadn’t written a book yet, but wanted to, I
just had to find what I was looking for out there in that horizon—that
periwinkle blue future distance.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">…the famous ‘tint of
the horizon’… what moved them more than wide grasslands and huge skies was the
scant layer of haze where land and sky merged in the farthest distance…talking
of the blue-green haze as though it was itself a land—a plain of the future,
perhaps, where one might live a life that existed only in potentiality on the
plains where poets and painters could do no more than write or paint….a
landscape that was wholly illusory…the zone of haze was as much a part of the
plains as any configuration of soil or clouds…they esteemed the land of their
birth for the very reason that it seemed bounded continually by the blue-green
veil that urged them to dream of a different plain</i>.(bits n’ pieces stitched
together from P.27)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">…an “art of the
horizon.” (P.29)</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Anyone surrounded from
childhood by an abundance of level land must dream alternately of exploring two
landscapes—one continually visible but never accessible and the other always
invisible even though one crossed and recrossed it daily.(P. 36)</i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">This obsession with
explorers. Please don’t misunderstand me; it’s a worthy task we’ve undertaken.
But that vision of the plains we’re all looking for—let’s remember that the
first explorers may not have been expecting plains. And many of them went back
to their seaports afterwards. Certainly they boasted of what they had
discovered. But the man I want to study is the one who came inland to verify
that the plains were just as he’d hoped for. That vision we’re all looking for…
(p. 46)</i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It depends on what you’re looking for—the filmmaker who
proposed to make a film about the plains—<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The
Interior</i>—it never happened, at least, not realized in a tangible way that
was initially proposed—he was really a writer not a filmmaker, and got caught
in the trap of expectation.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">…I learned in time
that I was considered by a small group to be a film-maker of exceptional promise.
When I first heard this, I had been about to reply that my cabinets full of
notes and preliminary drafts would probably never give rise to any image of any
sort of plain. I had almost decided to call myself poet or novelist …or some
other of the many sorts of literary practitioner flourishing on the plains. Yet
if I had announced such a change in my profession I might have lost the support
of those few people who persisted in esteeming me…A few of these men argued
even that the further my researches took me away from my announced aim and the
less my notes seemed likely to result in any visible film, the more credit I
deserved as the explorer of a distinctive landscape…It suited the purposes of
these men that I should continue to call myself a film-maker; that I should
sometimes appear at my annual revelation with a blank screen behind me and
should talk of the images I might yet display…No one afterwards could point to
a single feature of whatever place I stared at. It was still a place out of
sight in a scene arranged by someone who was himself out of sight. </i>(bits
and pieces stitched together from pages 109-110.)</div>
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<br /></div>
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He came, he saw—he stayed. If he left, something would’ve
come of it.</div>
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<![endif]--><br />Laura J. Wellner (author pseudonym Laura J. W. Ryan)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02521328695400639226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-945280587128640479.post-90916248451527384432017-01-02T10:26:00.003-05:002017-01-02T10:26:38.161-05:00Rumor has it they lived happily ever after...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFaxZpvQueTGTz-v2bdujbRY8vj8E44FM-cZmgE2Tz_90JgRXUYBiYTksmA8lIcqk2BQvo2LCBF0HZtZrZcQeSCiG_ZAqzRMbe3d_eIdiyjHeseJB-HBl1P-K8zX2BCKjQigBqcp3-DawG/s1600/Possible+image+for+back+cover+3+bw.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFaxZpvQueTGTz-v2bdujbRY8vj8E44FM-cZmgE2Tz_90JgRXUYBiYTksmA8lIcqk2BQvo2LCBF0HZtZrZcQeSCiG_ZAqzRMbe3d_eIdiyjHeseJB-HBl1P-K8zX2BCKjQigBqcp3-DawG/s400/Possible+image+for+back+cover+3+bw.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
<i>Drinking from the Fishbowl</i>, 2017<br />
<br />
I finished it. Well, it was finished on 12/30/2016<em>—</em>then the next day I added that “one more thing,” which you know always happens<em>—</em><br />
<br />
So I’m just telling you now, it’s finished.<br />
<br />
For the rest of the story...<a href="https://laurajwryan.wordpress.com/">https://laurajwryan.wordpress.com/</a><br />
<br />Laura J. Wellner (author pseudonym Laura J. W. Ryan)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02521328695400639226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-945280587128640479.post-34008722719606993032016-12-28T14:42:00.003-05:002016-12-28T14:42:58.813-05:00A Donkey's Tale...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I adopted Eeyore from EBay the week before Christmas...</div>
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but he didn't have a tail...so I knew that he'd have a hard time finding a forever home... He effectively breaks my heart every day...I love him!</div>
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Poor sweet fellow...I assured his previous owner that I would take very good care of him and make him a new tail...</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX8ZTdXybC133II0xKP-xYRGhEgJOYPib4bG5ZxWB9UwLLwdakQBmoyXpfzt9nrvb5qNEtrBcp9MML4VL_3bM9sTcFz29_mzK_iaOFRaeCPUr39k3QVaj47lex_tTEZFmhNyVq9aDU_U9v/s1600/Eeyore+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX8ZTdXybC133II0xKP-xYRGhEgJOYPib4bG5ZxWB9UwLLwdakQBmoyXpfzt9nrvb5qNEtrBcp9MML4VL_3bM9sTcFz29_mzK_iaOFRaeCPUr39k3QVaj47lex_tTEZFmhNyVq9aDU_U9v/s320/Eeyore+2.jpg" width="192" /></a></div>
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When he arrived in my mailbox that cold winter day the week before Christmas, I promised that I'd make him a new tail...a finer tail than he's ever had...</div>
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I asked him if he would like to stick with a pink bow, cuz now would be the time to make a change if he so desired...he seemed uneasy about change, so I didn't want to fool with his comfort zone, and found a pink bow that was just right. The one thing I improved on was adding a button...I guess Christopher Robin never thought of securing the tail with something better than that dumb old tack.<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
A few quick stitches and it was on!</div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
The moment of truth...does he like it?</div>
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YEEEHAAAAA!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That's one happy donkey!</div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
Eeyore gets a new forever home and a new tail...</div>
<br />
<a href="https://laurajwryan.wordpress.com/2016/12/28/a-donkeys-tale/">https://laurajwryan.wordpress.com/2016/12/28/a-donkeys-tale/</a><br />
<br />Laura J. Wellner (author pseudonym Laura J. W. Ryan)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02521328695400639226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-945280587128640479.post-58966486754212984932016-12-04T13:26:00.002-05:002016-12-04T13:26:43.306-05:00Trespassers Will<!--[if !mso]>
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<br />
I had Donald Trump visit in a dream one night—actually, it was very early in
the morning, I had been awake, but went back to sleep. The minute I recognized
him, I thought <em>“This isn’t good.”</em> (That’s putting it mildly, but I
won’t get into the politics here.) Dreams are odd events, the brain is busy
working things out, and my brain has been feeling <em>“already too full”</em>
as it is lately. I’m sure the radio turning on and delivering the morning news
babble added fuel to this murky muddle...<br />
<br />
And it goes like this...<br />
<br />
We (my Fred and I) were out walking along a country road, it was a beautiful
autumn day, and there he was out for a walk too, suit n’ tie, raincoat, alone.
We stopped and greeted him, the polite thing to do here... this is the country
road.<br />
<br />
“Not much to see here,” he said. “It’s nice, but there’s not much going on.”<br />
<br />
“We like it, it’s quiet.” One of us replied.<br />
<br />
He pointed to a leaf strewn dirt lane that led into the wooded area
alongside the road. (It was pretty down there, whoever owned it kept it well
maintained, there were mossy stone walls marking the edges. I imagined it to be
a fine place to ride horses, although there were none to be seen, I knew they
were around...or had been at one time and their spirits lingered.) At the
entrance of the lane next to a mailbox there stood a wooden sign on a tall
post, although weathered by many years of exposure, it clearly stated <strong>NO
TRESPASSING</strong>.<br />
<br />
“I think I’ll walk through there,” he said.<br />
<br />
“But Mr. Trump, there’s a sign that says ‘no trespassing’, you shouldn’t go
there.” One of us said, concerned. The sign was steadfast in its demand for
respect. (This is the sort of place that you must be invited to visit.)<br />
<br />
He looked at us and smiled, he said. “What are they going to do?” he
gestured to himself (in a now familiar way, blustery confidence that nothing
will happen because he is who he is...Trump.)<br />
<br />
I guess he’ll find out, I thought. <br />
<br />
He walked on with a wave and a thumbs up, (so full of confidence that no one
will mind that he chose to stroll through their land without an invitation.) We
didn’t stop him because we agreed it wouldn’t do any good. I felt sad about
it—not for him, but for the one he’s trespassing against. (We were raised to
respect other people’s right to privacy—it seems not everyone cares about such
things anymore.) <br />
<br />
(Back in the day when such things mattered, Dracula knew that he had to be
invited inside, but I haven’t kept up with what vampires do these days, so who
knows...)<br />
<br />
Then I thought, out loud “Cellphone coverage sucks out here.”<br />
<br />
Maybe after this he’ll see to that.<br />
<br />
I woke up and wondered in my current frame of mind... <em>what the fuck is
that shit about?</em> <br />
<br />
Yes, that was it...with some parenthetical embellishments necessary to
untangle the frustrating murkiness and sensations that are part of dreams—this
is what my busy already too full brain came up with while asleep. I rarely
remember my dreams.<br />
<br />
Why would I dream about this? Other than what this man stands for in my
mind, a bully who will take what he wants, he’s all for himself, and doesn’t
care who he stomps on along the way—the country road, the two of us, or the
private property that he felt entitled to take a stroll through because he is
who he is—and my concerns regarding personal space and privacy. <br />
<br />
I know I trespassed from time to time in my childhood, little kids do that
shit, just cutting through someone’s backyard, through someone’s woods or a
pasture to get to where they’re going, being nosy, learning the ways of the
world by getting into trouble because of curiosity, learning how to ask for
permission rather than asking forgiveness. It’s part of growing up. I tried to
be mindful of the land belonging to someone that I should take care, and I
shouldn’t wreck it. Things were so simple then...now, not so much. I feel
invaded a lot.<br />
<br />
This dream also brought me to <em>The World of Pooh</em>, a book I keep on
my nightstand for a quiet read...a security blanket of sorts...<br />
<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCA8b_Q63m-_gtDdXn_yK0yTERGlfoFaaI0itWP9Yzs0d62OHQSPPic4nZByoZMeWw57SoUP_TaoVlsRzIAp7DZ9q72qQc73izTuQHUCw4RF1PA15qtt7JYudwUs4kb7h_47frpRKoDryP/s1600/Winnie-the-pooh-disneyscreencaps.com-3067.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="198" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCA8b_Q63m-_gtDdXn_yK0yTERGlfoFaaI0itWP9Yzs0d62OHQSPPic4nZByoZMeWw57SoUP_TaoVlsRzIAp7DZ9q72qQc73izTuQHUCw4RF1PA15qtt7JYudwUs4kb7h_47frpRKoDryP/s320/Winnie-the-pooh-disneyscreencaps.com-3067.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Winnie-the-Pooh, Piglet's house (image from <a href="http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/File:Winnie-the-pooh-disneyscreencaps.com-3067.jpg" target="_blank">The Disney Wiki</a>) From the story <em>In Which Pooh and
Piglet Go Hunting and Nearly Catch a Woozle</em><br />
<br />
<em>THE Piglet lived in a very grand house in the middle of a beech-tree,
and the beech-tree was in the middle of the forest, and the Piglet lived in the
middle of the house. Next to his house was a piece of broken board which had:
"TRESPASSERS W" on it. When Christopher Robin asked the Piglet what
it meant, he said it was his grandfather's name, and had been in the family for
a long time. Christopher Robin said you couldn't be called Trespassers W, and
Piglet said yes, you could, because his grandfather was, and it was short for
Trespassers Will, which was short for Trespassers William. And his grandfather
had had two names in case he lost one--Trespassers after an uncle, and William
after Trespassers.</em><br />
<br />
<em>"I've got two names," said Christopher Robin carelessly.</em><br />
<br />
<em>"Well, there you are, that proves it," said Piglet.</em><br />
<br />
Well there you are. Maybe I’ll post my sign...<em>Trespassers Will</em>. <br />
<br />
And of course, while doing my research, I discovered a band called <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trespassers_William" target="_blank">Trespassers
William</a>...and because I love finding new music even if it’s old, I bought
one of their records, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Different-Stars-Trespassers-William/dp/B00030M7SU" target="_blank"><i>Different Stars</i></a>...although they’re no longer
together it looks like the former members are still out there making music. <br />
<br />
There’s so many layers in life’s journey...so much to learn...so much to
see...<br />
<br />
That’s my story today, and I’m sticking to it.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This blog is also posted at my <a href="https://laurajwryan.wordpress.com/2016/12/04/trespassers-will/" target="_blank">Wordpress </a>website...it'd be real sweet of you to stop by there and follow me...</div>
Laura J. Wellner (author pseudonym Laura J. W. Ryan)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02521328695400639226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-945280587128640479.post-21015397808805901252016-09-17T09:54:00.001-04:002016-09-17T09:54:27.318-04:00A work in progress...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
I sez, <em>"What writing on the wall have you been reading lately? I
want to compare notes..." </em><br />
I have a suspicion 'tis all, cuz these days I can't wrap my mind around what
I comprehend. Things have been more than strange. I feel unsettled. <em>"Everything's
gone bat crap crazy,"</em> I sez, if you know what I mean. (I don't think
you're listening.)<br />
<br />
Have you seen it too? Heard it. Felt it. Smelled it in the wind. Tasted
something not right. Something off. Spoiled. Rotten. Or am I just imagining
things? Gone awry. Running scared. Jumping at shadows. My tinfoil hat has seen
better days...'tis a bit askew. I've worn it a lot in various ways...trying for
a better signal... cuz I'm seeing ghosts in the machine...have been for ages,
but didn't want to admit it. Maybe I'm growing old before my time, cuz I've
seen too much. Most likely, I'm wise beyond my years...cuz I feel too much.<br />
<br />
<em>"'tis time to go home,"</em> I sez. Batten down the hatches.
Protect your own. Of late, I sez to you (joking of course) <em>"Other
people are Hell."</em> That's the sad part...it shouldn't be that
way...but it is. (For reasons unbeknownst to you...apparently.) It's time for
me to step out of the way...'n duck. I'm not going to stop your face-first
plunge into the cat box if that's what you want to do...I sez, <em>"Not my
monkeys, not my circus."</em> I am going to be okay, but you, with your
head up your ass, misreading the wall, be screwed.<br />
Laura J. Wellner (author pseudonym Laura J. W. Ryan)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02521328695400639226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-945280587128640479.post-13815660850933833862016-09-09T06:59:00.001-04:002016-09-09T06:59:16.161-04:00The Jackalope and Eugene Riley... are They Related?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
This amusing creature and such things of myths and legends always
interested me...a big part of writing fiction is making up shit, which
is part of the fun...The Jackalope has a small, yet significant part in
my novel <em>Drinking from the Fishbowl</em> (which is closer than ever
to being done.) I found this postcard when I was out West once a very
long time ago, but darn it, I can't lay my hands on it as I've
squirreled it away somewhere in my treasure-trove of crap that I've
collected over the years, so I Googled it and found a picture of it on
an amusing website that included the greatest hits of legendary
creatures like Bigfoot and Nessie:<br />
<br />
<a data-mce-href="http://www.skeptiseum.org/index.php?override=home.php&subcat=Choose%20a%20topic" href="http://www.skeptiseum.org/index.php?override=home.php&subcat=Choose%20a%20topic" target="_blank">http://www.skeptiseum.org/index.php?override=home.php&subcat=Choose%20a%20topic</a><br />
<br />
Not
meaning to get your hopes up (or down if you don't dig Bigfoot) the
book isn't about any of them, but it is about dreams and realities, and
the mythology that is invented about people who become "rich and
famous."<br />
<br />
Eugene Riley originates from a place where the
mythological Jackalope has been rumored to leap around in mountain
meadows...he is on a life journey in which the reality of his dreams
isn't what he had expected, he is a successful actor and filmmaker,
goodness yes, he seems to have the golden touch...and yet, no, he has
plenty of stumbles along the way that are less than glamorous. The
talented young man is determined to follow his dreams and make them
happen, and has overcome the obstacles that get in the way, and from
time to time as he progresses into his career from a finds himself in
good company with the Jackalope. The media makes up stories about him
throughout his career in Hollywood, the truth mixes with lies and the
lies become a bizarre "truth" that the inquiring minds want to
know...when in reality, Eugene is an ordinary fellow, he's really an
introvert, but a few tips from a flask or hits from a joint smooths the
rough spots and he's good to go. When seen in person without the make
up, the costumes, the lighting, the dramatic camera angles, and of
course, good editing, he's not as tall as you think, and his eyes,
although they are blue, they are not really that blue, and his real hair
is unruly dirty blond curls. The Hollywood media machine is riddled
with rumors about him, some of the most outrageous things are typical
fodder (who is he dating, who is he dumping, look who he's been caught
in a love nest with while he's married to wife #whatever, is that baby
his baby, is his wife going to leave him, did he beat his wife, he's a
drug addict, he's a drunk, is he going to rehab, he's out of rehab, did
he have a relapse, oops he did it again, did he just die in a fiery car
crash, did he get kidnapped by aliens, where is he now, is Bat-Boy his
big brother? Seriously...if you spend any time in the grocery store
line, you know the drill, this shit is crazy.) The fabricated "royalty"
that grace the glossy covers of magazines are a cultural fascination
that flows between fairy tale and comic-tragedy, it's so bizarre.<br />
<br />
Why
on earth would I want to write about this... because I wanted to
explore the emotional side of the person living with this burden. How
does a man voted "The Sexiest Man Alive" feel about it? How does the
actor who doesn't win the Oscar for Best Actor feel about it? How does
he feel when the film he's directed gets the "Two Thumbs Up" and wins
Best Picture? There is a real person riding that Hollywood wild horse.
Living with all the ridiculous rumors about his private life swirling
around in print (and feels compelled to call his mom, Grace Riley in
Jackson Hole, Wyoming, and his best friend, Georgia Sullivan in New York
City to tell them to ignore it, he's alive and well.) His reality is
this, he just happens to have a really cool job doing something that he
loves. People fall in love with an image that he projects, a character, a
fiction. It's a fickle life, and he's very aware that the ride can end
at any time. Does he wait for it to throw him off, or does he stop the
horse, get down, and walk away on his own.<br />
<br />
Eugene Riley is a Jackalope.Laura J. Wellner (author pseudonym Laura J. W. Ryan)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02521328695400639226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-945280587128640479.post-12954660535198125382016-07-31T09:19:00.000-04:002016-07-31T09:19:22.745-04:00The Summer Spent Editing "Drinking from the Fishbowl"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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For a good part of this summer I have been busy editing <i>Fishbowl</i>...Even tho' it isn't finished yet, I'm considering the look of it...the book cover design...the photo above is an idea that is in consideration, I'm confident that my Fred will come up with a beautiful design from some of the things I've floated his way. The plan is to publish by the end of August...that's the plan in my head, because that's Georgia Sullivan's birthday (one of the main characters.) We'll see if I can pull it off. It is close...very close.<br />
<br />
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<br />
The process seems to be taking forever, and each time through it, I find "something" (it's a bit maddening, obsessive compulsive, and yet terribly FUN! I love editing, and I do love this book, my weird little soap opera about dreams and realities. For the last five years of writing, editing, and going line by line backwards and forwards, the word count and page count expands and contracts...pages, paragraphs, and words are cut...more are put in...<br />
<br />
Sometimes I go several days not looking at it at all, or thinking about it...I've written a few poems, a short bit or two... I submitted a poem <i>The Chronic Need for a Magic Bullet</i> to <i>The Sun</i>, I'm waiting for a response...it's about my 7 months on Vicodin for nerve pain from the shingles, a timely piece, a bit rambling...a less refined version is posted on my Wordpress website: <a href="https://laurajwryan.wordpress.com/poe-ems-and-other-short-stuff/essays-compositions-pontifications-musings-noise-rants-and-other-what-not/chronic/">https://laurajwryan.wordpress.com/poe-ems-and-other-short-stuff/essays-compositions-pontifications-musings-noise-rants-and-other-what-not/chronic/</a><br />
<br />
<br />
Balance. It's about balance. To do what I do I have to balance life and art...it's never easy...but I manage to do what I gotta do. <br />
<br />
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When it's been very hot, I've spent time under the Three Sisters, the pine trees (Norway spruce, I think) in the corner of our acre...it's nice, cool, the crows living there like me because I feed them peanuts every day so my table is not shit on...remarkable. (The Mr. & Mrs. raised another baby, man that is one big cry baby, nigh pitiful, often hilarious...big enough to fly, yet whiny and fussy as can be!)<br />
<br />
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This bowl of ice cream...yes, it has significance in the plot...it's Georgia Sullivan's favorite flavor...and it must be green, it can't be plain.<br />
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Of course...there are other creative plans rolling around in my head...one having to do with this fuzzy blue friend who was featured in my novel <i>Dusty Waters, A Ghost Story</i>...his name is Distinguished, and he would like me to tell his story some day...I'm thinking a children's book, watercolor illustrations...bright, sweet, a rescue of sorts...<br />
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He's a happy fellow isn't he? I resurrected him on Mother's Day weekend after many weeks of acquiring components to recreate the creature from my childhood...he was real, but my parent's dog chewed him up while I was away at college, there was no saving what was left, a sad end for a well-loved friend, part of the pantheon of stuffed animals who resided on my bed. I have no idea where he came from, other than a planet of blue fuzzy critters...I'm inclined to believe he was a homemade church bazaar purchase based on the "I am Slurp" critters who were popular at the time. The original had a permanent greasy smudge from the peanut butter sandwich I tried to share with him on a picnic in the backyard. He's very squeezable, tho' his mouth might fall off...yes, that is a pink hair curler...the best part about that curler, it was one from my mom's bathroom vanity, so it's special. I have promised him not to drop him in a puddle or try to share my peanut butter sandwich...just hugs and outings to watch the world go by...<br /><br />
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My wee donkey, Elizabeth turned 25 on July 7th, I gave her a brand new halter to replace her ratty one that she's probably worn for near that many years (it looks it.) She's precious. (Ears!) She loves hugs too.<br />
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Okay...the politics have gone off the rails on Ozzy's <i>Crazy Train</i> and are careening into fucked up bat crap crazy land so...<br />
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Fuck. The VP is the Stove...can't go wrong. Dude, this thing made me laugh. Not much about this year's election is all that funny...well, John Stewart is a bright spot. I do have a political poem brewing...I'm channeling my little folk singer Dusty Waters, of course...she's plinking it out on a ukulele, but keeps stopping to hold her head...to keep it from shaking off her body, she's so disgusted.<br />
<br />
Well, that's the news from my acre of the world in Upstate New York...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Laura J. Wellner (author pseudonym Laura J. W. Ryan)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02521328695400639226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-945280587128640479.post-78699995755258510622016-07-31T08:10:00.000-04:002016-07-31T08:10:30.904-04:00My thoughts regarding "Ark" by Julian Tepper<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">…“It’s a waste
of time for a genius like me to peddle his art. I say get down to the bloody
work, make something the world’s never seen, and when you’re dead perhaps
they’ll find out about you—if they’re lucky!”</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Oftentimes Ben
would stop with his work and draw his hand through the air and say, “You see
this? These paintings? These sculptures? They are perfectly meaningless things.
And yet in making them I have felt what it feels like to be a king. And that
stimulus to my brain, that knowledge of creation which I have gained...that,
Jerome, is what all this making is about.”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> (p. 42)</span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Ark</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> by Julian
Tepper is a highly entertaining dark comedy, the plot is familiar and funny, it
clips along at a steady, bite-sized pace—it does require a certain mindset to
settle into the saddle for the fictional ride—and as with any book, I had trust
in the author to tell the story from his unique vision. I say this because it
is squirmy in that neurotic Woody Allen movie/ Seinfeld episode world that
makes me roll my eyes—preparing myself for absurdities that are unreal, asking
myself, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Who in their right mind behaves
like this?”</i> Well, people do act-out inappropriately depending on their
circumstances—just open the newspaper on any given day and they are out there.
The human condition is a curious state of affairs, like the fascination with
disasters, people tie up traffic rubbernecking at car accidents; they peruse
the front page of the tabloids at the checkout counter—yes, remarkable, we have
a fixation on tragedy and scandal, but there wouldn’t be a story without it. I
have to point out here, that there’s something special about New York City—the
quirky stories about it and its inhabitants; it’s steeped in the American
literary tradition. New York City is this big fabulous place constructed onto
this small parcel of real estate, it’s jam packed with the human condition, and
complex circumstances that can be unbelievable to some, but absolutely normal
to those living it. I’m just a small town girl from Upstate New York, so the
place alternately fascinates and puzzles me most of the time.</span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">No
matter where you’re from, or how wealthy you are (or not) the best of families
can disintegrate into petty squabble-fests over things and money in a heartbeat
(because someone’s heart ceased to beat)—blood is thicker than water, and then
there’s familial shit slinging. The book immediately careens away from Ben’s
peaceful and quirky morning routine, which until I viewed Ben from another
perspective a few pages later, it was sad to see him differently than how he
perceives himself. We’re all guilty of that—there are some days the mirror is
unforgiving. Anyway, the true circumstances of the story immediately comes in
the form of Ben’s wife, Eliza, as the broader issue of money and needing to
acquire money to pay the bills. She suggests going to the Russian to sell
diamonds—the suggestion made my core clench—this can only go badly in some
form—the human condition bomb is ticking. At times, as I’ve gotten older, I
look around me and wonder what I have to sell should things go financially
south—I don’t have a clutch of diamonds. Writing books? Nah, no money in that (she
laughs.) I do have a ton of artwork that I made, but I know no one will pay
what I think it’s worth, so I’m a miser and hang on to most of them, when I’ve
sold certain ones I always regret it. I have antiques, lots of bits of this and
that from my mother’s house—one massive auction might solve things only if the
prices are right—typically, not. I have my house, it’s paid for, but I intend
to die here some day in a far off date in the future, so that’s not for sale.
See, the magic of books is simply amazing—they get ya thinkin’ about
stuff—generating empathy for the characters—so from that point, I was in. Ben
and Eliza, the diamonds, the acquisition of funds—the story dominos were
properly set up, then the telephone rang within another page, that’s when they
all started the rapid clicking fall to the inevitable chaos of a thing called
life with the Arkin family. Life can be ugly once the details unfold, family
dynamics, damage done—who did what to who, when—the mystery of the human
condition bomb, wired up, the timer winding down, ready to blow. The imposition
of anxiety pulses through the narrative going from bad to worse, and just when
you thought it couldn’t get any worse, it does. It was relentless. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Serenity
now! (*wink*)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
like to immerse myself into a book, live there, experience it, so when I
finished <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ark</i>, I was glad it was
over—not in a bad way—I needed time. Look at it like this, I’m<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the awkward little introvert at a party
populated by extroverts, all I want to do is sit in a corner drinking wine
while playing with the host’s cat, absorbing everything going on around me,
waiting for the right time to leave, not wanting to be the first person out the
door. If the cat and I are having fun interacting in the corner, I’ll be the
last person out the door, tipsy, grinning foolishly at the host and telling
them, “I had a wonderful time.” In this book, the cat and I had our brief
quality time, but the cat ran off to hide under the bed because someone’s
allergy to cats kicked in and the host was trying to catch it. I was ready to
leave so I could digest all that I observed while people watching—I wasn’t
drunk, I wasn’t sleepy either, I was overwhelmed, which is easy when the story
has so much in so few pages, very little room to breathe. My little Upstate brain
and I needed to take a turn sitting on the beach with a bottle of wine, tuning
out everyone—if Ben and Eliza’s granddaughter, Rebecca, showed up, I’d kindly
tell her to go find her own patch of beach. This is mine.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">When
I finish reading a book, I retrace my steps within a day or two. I return to
the parts that I think about or do a random drop in to reread a paragraph or
two, sometimes more. I typically dog-ear pages or in the case of e-books
bookmark, highlight, and I write notes. Where did I go? I revisited Jerome—he
was the cat in the corner. I have to admire Jerome for his genuine concern, his
patience, and especially his diligence to finish Ben’s last work of art—it was
the most touching interlude because he still had hope—even if it was unpromising
and a bit foolhardy—he still possessed enough unscathed innocence to hope. When
Rebecca saw what he had been working on in Ben’s studio, she was impressed,
Jerome was high on the energy that comes from creation, but she was too
punch-drunk from the emotional battery to care about anything more than
self-preservation. She did warn him to run, but he had his own vision to make
Ben famous. This would mean becoming entangled in the Arkin family war, the
fragmented clamoring hoard of the Arkin family goes on—life goes on after the
book is done, as it should. It’s a tidy little package, I must say, even with
the spite and spit of the bitter family feud.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“…I’ve told you
before and I’ll tell you again…these are just meaningless objects. It’s the
experience of making the work. That’s the thing!” …“Yes, I was there for the
creation,” Ben continued. “That’s what it’s about, Jerome. The rest…the rest is
all a lot of bullshit.” </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">(p.47)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">___</span></span></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Ark</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> by Julian
Tepper</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Dzanc
Books</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Publication
Date: September 2016<br />
Hardcover: 224 pages<br />
ISBN: 978-1-941088-29-6</span></div>
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<a href="http://www.dzancbooks.org/our-books/ark-by-julian-tepper"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">http://www.dzancbooks.org/our-books/ark-by-julian-tepper</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">[Synopsis:
Ben Arkin, patriarch of the family, is an artist who has never sold a piece.
His children, Sondra, Doris, and Oliver run a record label that has never
produced a hit, and that Ben and his wife have bankrolled. When Doris strikes
out to form her own label, Sondra sues the entire Arkin family, setting about a
series of events that ultimately lead to their demise. The story is told
primarily from the perspective of Oliver’s daughter, Rebecca, an attorney who
might be the only redeeming member of the Arkin family. Rebecca attempts to
keep the family from collapsing, while trying desperately to extricate herself
from their grasp.]</span></div>
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<![endif]--><br />Laura J. Wellner (author pseudonym Laura J. W. Ryan)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02521328695400639226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-945280587128640479.post-81478757180442045142016-04-06T19:29:00.003-04:002016-04-06T19:29:48.163-04:00Patience and the Writing Process - "The Fractured Hues of White Light" revisited<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj59vddS8bRSWWkoO-9icgadCrNxW6DzYR2dIu1wriWTud3BoDVvONK3-fyUCW840yHO-SNsUO9T7-ZT5DBIK7-ygkyI_iEQl_-ZhpokpKbp_pSzVQncsTcx3g2eyTELFEPRoBxhYOrxL44/s1600/Book+on+table.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj59vddS8bRSWWkoO-9icgadCrNxW6DzYR2dIu1wriWTud3BoDVvONK3-fyUCW840yHO-SNsUO9T7-ZT5DBIK7-ygkyI_iEQl_-ZhpokpKbp_pSzVQncsTcx3g2eyTELFEPRoBxhYOrxL44/s320/Book+on+table.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span class="communityanswertext"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The strangest things happen while
writing a book—a whole lot of unexpected emerges from the fertile ground of the
primary source (or the backbone) of the story. It always amazes me where the
original idea takes me, it all seems so simple at first, then there’s this
beautiful sense of wonder that occurs as pieces fall into place, I go with the
flow because it feels right—it’s truly magical how it happens. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Fractured Hues of White Light</i> turned
out to be a bigger, far more complex story than I initially imagined, and there
were times I feared I took on something too big. It surprises me that I wrote
it in that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I really wrote this book!”</i>
sort of way. I’m a little bit partial to this one—I think “she’s” my favorite
novel because it was so challenging to write it. I have a special attachment to
it, maybe I’m a little sentimental about it—some might criticize me and say, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“It’s done, it’s out of the nest, let it
go.”</i> It’s not that at all, it’s the experience of the creation that
interests me most, when I revisit the book (I open it up and drop in now and
then to say “Hi.”) I will remember the stuff that went into it, and the events
surrounding the time I wrote it. It was a time in my life—a time when my
writing started to make sense and I had to learn to juggle writing with life,
work, home, and everything else that happens along the way. It’s an immersive
experience, very much like falling in love, it’s exciting and exhausting at the
time it’s happening, and when I “drop in” to visit the pages, it’s familiar
like an old friend. I love what I do, I love what I’ve done.</span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The Fractured Hues of White Light</span></i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">—is the second one in the line-up of published
books that I’ve put out there, but in the “birth-order” of creation, it was the
third manuscript that came out of a creative sweet-spot that happened to me
between 1999 and 2003. (I have archived files on my computer dating back to
2000-2001, pretty crazy.) It was as if my longtime dream to be a writer went
supernova inside my head and all of it burst out at once, I couldn’t write fast
enough it seemed. It’s so strange how the books start. It’s magical how they
come together, fragments that grow into this larger story, full of layers and
characters, their histories, their personalities, quirks, passions, and fears.
It’s hard to explain. I love the process so much, the creating, the polishing,
then the terrifying, yet satisfying part of putting it out there to be read—learning
to accept the likes and dislikes as they come. I do enjoy hearing from readers
about their experiences with my books. I’ve had readers tell me very personal
reactions, like when I made them cry. Then I get all embarrassed and say stuff
like, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Shucks, I’m sorry I made you cry—awwww—let’s
hug!”</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’ve pissed people off
too—might as well while I’m at it. It’s part of the package. Books are a
special thing, readers gobble them up, they lose time while they’re reading,
and not every book works for them—it’s a subjective thing. A reader who loves
commercial or genre fiction might not appreciate literary fiction. My books are
literary—they are gritty, yet they have a silly streak in them, and dark
humor—I do try to bring the reader back to a safe place after taking them into
the darkest corners of shit happening—the examination of the human condition is
messy and can be ugly. I write in the vein that goes deep into the interior of
the character’s personality, what makes them tick. In Samantha Ryder’s world, specific
things like the sound of the ocean, the texture and color of the old glass
windows of her house in Gloucester, Massachusetts, dust motes in a shaft of
sunlight, stones on the beach, the sugar bowl and creamer on the kitchen table,
and the color yellow have special significance. The things that happen in the
past have made her, and the future links with the past. I’ve written the book
from four points of view—Samantha, Guthrie, Helena, and Sylvester—there is more
than one side to the story, and this is another thing that interests me about
writing—how characters influence one another, each one has their own
interpretation of events and opinions about what’s happened—and where they’re
going. I’ve populated all of my novels with people who have met before, so Guthrie
has a small part in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Drinking from the
Fishbowl</i>, which takes place before the events of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Fractured Hues of White Light</i>. Sylvester pops up in two other
books not yet published, but they will be someday, these things take time. A
lot of being a writer is about patience. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When I started it, it
began with two people driving through Wyoming having a conversation, from there
I filled in around this one moment in time. I had no idea who these two were or
why they were out there, where they were from, how old they were, their names,
nothing, I knew nothing. It was just a conversation between a man and a woman,
traveling companions, maybe lovers, maybe spouses, friends, or
siblings—eventually, after a good deal of questioning, they became Guthrie and
Samantha. Their complex relationship is complicated by the definition of love.
It was tragic and yet, in the drama brewing in the cloister of a car driving
through a springtime rainstorm in the Red Desert, they could laugh at
themselves, and at how things are—by this part in the book, it was time for
them to stop avoiding the inevitable and go home. Samantha, being autistic,
rarely journeyed far from home where the familiar things keep her sense of
security intact—although it was a journey of self-preservation, it was possible
that it could’ve been her undoing as she withdrew inside herself, on the verge
of shutting down. Then while looking out the car window at the rain, she spied
a dildo on the shoulder of the road. Seeing that thing cracked her shell open
enough to let out a giggle, and then she started to laugh her ass off. It’s
these little happenings that make the experience of writing so fascinating—I’m making
things up as I go along, it’s part of the fun.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">J</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">ust so you know—I really did see a dildo on the
side of the road one rainy night many years ago, it was the funniest random
thing to see, that’s something you don’t see every day—I’ve seen some weird
shit in my time, but that just seemed curious, standing up like it was hitching
a ride. So odd. Who knows how it got there, god knows where it’s been!
It’s long gone, but the memory is still there. When you see stuff like that,
it’s all fodder for later. I have a head full of this nonsense. (It was on East
Genesee Street in Syracuse, on the way to DeWitt, near Nottingham High School,
as if that matters at all, but it’s funny every time I go by that spot, I still
laugh.)</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The Fractured Hues of White Light</span></i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> was a tough one to write in some respects, but
once I started it, it flowed out of me like I knew what I was doing. Yet there
were so many surprises that I did not foresee—like the ending. I had no idea
how it was going to end when I started it. Most of the time, writers have the
beginning and the ending figured out, it’s the stuff in the middle that’s hard
to get through. I was all over the place while writing this one, and then
printing it, and piecing it all together, sometimes getting out the scissors and
tape. (Yikes, right?) Occasionally, I would ask myself <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Where is this going?”</i> Then I’d shrug and kept writing because I
knew it could reveal itself eventually<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">—“I’ll
know it when I see it.”</i> When it happened—I was surprised, yet not. It was
there the whole time. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Patience. It takes
patience to write a book.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’ve also come to grips
with the fact I’ll never get a six figure advance from Alfred Knopf—I’m okay
with that, I’m not one of those real “go get-ers,” chomping on the bit to do a
book tour, and all that, best seller list stuff. Nah, it’ll never happen, I
have a lot of patience, but I don’t have the patience for that shit. Nope.</span></div>
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Laura J. Wellner (author pseudonym Laura J. W. Ryan)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02521328695400639226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-945280587128640479.post-16815981377533987472016-02-21T09:23:00.000-05:002016-02-21T09:23:07.683-05:00The Mockingbird...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Harper Lee passed away in her sleep…I’m sad, but not too sad because she
had a good life and was an inspiration to many—she was my inspiration. I
am the writer I am today because she wrote <em>To Kill a Mockingbird</em>. A book and the woman who wrote it. She’s gone, but the book lives on—<br />
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<br />
You know how certain songs are part of your life soundtrack? Well, <em>Mockingbird</em>
became meshed with the soundtrack of my life—it was in there, nudging
me to think, to look, to be an observer, to be a writer—not much of what
I do or have created had too much to do with what I learned in school—I
did get exposed to things, some not so pleasant—I seemed to be forever
swimming against the current of what was expected of me—I clearly had my
way of doing things, and school, even college, never lived up to my
expectations. I was looking for “immersion” and never truly found that,
nor did I get much guidance—a few bits here and there, but not whole lot
of encouragement that didn’t have tags of negativity about it being
“hard” or something that implied I didn’t have a snowball’s chance to
“make it.” Seriously, I’m more satisfied with creating the things I
create than receiving prizes or praise—that’s the shit that makes me
crawl under a rock and hide while shrieking “Don’t look at me!”—so if
anyone understands Nelle dusting off her hands and saying “I’m done!” I
do. I learn by doing things hands on, getting my hands dirty, breaking
my fingernails, and absorbing or being so focused that nothing else gets
in—and sure, making mistakes along the way. I don’t like being told
what to do—or what I should be doing. It took a long time to achieve
what I have envisioned for myself. A long, slow simmer in a pot of life
experience—along the way, I have carried the essence of what I learned
from reading <em>To Kill a Mockingbird, </em>it was a long time before I
set down the first words for my first novel. In spite of my
observations of Nelle, and stuff that I’ve read about her, I can’t
pretend to know her at all, but the book I do know—I never felt
compelled to meet her (meeting your heroes is rarely a good thing.) <em>Mockingbird</em>
was magical, its vision precise and formidable—my various journeys
through it over the course of my life—from a child to adult—I never
faltered in my feeling for it—the wisdom, the quiet, thoughtful prose,
the intensity of emotion, it was visual—partly because of the film,
which I saw well before I read the book, but the book expanded the
limited scope of the film, filled in those hungry places that I had
gurgling in my brain’s belly—it’s always good to be a little bit hungry
all the time. I’m always hungry.<br />
<br />
<em>To Kill a Mockingbird</em> was the perfect book. Nelle didn’t
need to write another, tho’ I selfishly wished she had because I sensed
she had more to say—much more. <em>Go Set a Watchman</em> came along
last year, as a surprise, and of course, the collective “they” made it
into a literary scandal of sorts—to be honest, I didn’t see Atticus as
the outrageous racist that they made him out to be in the headlines. He
was a man of his time and place, he was mixing with them because he had
to keep an eye on what they were up to, he saw them as dangerous—and he
had his own personal concerns as well, perhaps selfish ones, and who
isn’t? Especially, once you’ve become older and feeling vulnerable to
the whims of others, it’s that time when the young are coming up behind
you, tapping your shoulder, expecting you to step aside so they can take
their place in society with their own vision of how things should be.
Naturally, the elders feel threatened—(I catch myself saying to the
twenty somethings—wait until you’re fifty, you’ll know then—I might
still feel like I’m nine on the inside, but I’m not ignorant of the fact
that I’m getting on in life, I’m flat out tired and cranky, and I have
aches n’ pains that are annoying me to no end. It’s not a pretty sight.)
I read <em>Watchman</em> and accepted it as it was—the firstborn. <em>To Kill a Mockingbird</em> grew from it, and it was well nurtured in comparison—it’s a big book—it was her gift to the world, and now it’s her memorial.<br />
<br />
My sympathies go to her family and friends. May she rest in peace.<br />
<br />
<br />
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<br />
I will have to read it again.<br />
<br />
Post from my website:<br />
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1801685940"><br /></a>
<a href="https://laurajwryan.wordpress.com/2016/02/20/the-mockingbird/">https://laurajwryan.wordpress.com/2016/02/20/the-mockingbird/</a><br />
<br />Laura J. Wellner (author pseudonym Laura J. W. Ryan)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02521328695400639226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-945280587128640479.post-2654612079450175072016-02-13T15:10:00.000-05:002016-02-13T15:10:38.134-05:00Curses! The Bad-Boy Four Letter Words and Their Place in Literature—<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
Swearwords, dirty words, swears, cussing, profanity, salty language, foul
language, slang, spicy talk, raw, naughty, shocking, rude, cheap, vulgar, racy,
immature, ignorant, ugly, gratuitous, offensive, obscene, risqué, crude,
objectionable…Some of these objections to “such language” are badges rightfully
acquired. In my honest opinion, their relevance are at the discretion of the
writer—therefore, readers beware—beyond this point, there be dragons—big
motherfucking dragons…<br />
<br />
<em>Ooooo, you just swore, I’m going to tell your Mom! </em><br />
<em>Go ahead, I dare you—and I’ll tell your Mom what you said five minutes
ago when you stepped in that big squishy pile of dog shit. </em>(Wild giggling
with hands firmly clamped over our mouths.)<br />
<br />
Remember those days? Being nine and testing the waters with some bad words—I
still smirk a little when I swear. I was quite young when I first let rip a few
to try them out, and although I knew they were very naughty things to say, I
found them hilarious. When George Carlin recorded his long list of words that
couldn’t be said on television—the world of bad words changed forever. I still
hear my mother’s voice chiding <em>“Here-here, that’s not the way to talk.”</em>
It was impressed on me that a young lady, such as myself, shouldn’t say such
things. Well, being the sort of girl who couldn’t resist the temptation to do
something I was not supposed to do, swearing just tickled my fancy, it set me
apart from the rest of the girls—I didn’t fit in anyway, so I let ‘em fly.<br />
<br />
A side note, my mouth did get washed out with soap <u>once</u>. For the life
of me I can’t remember what I said, I was so young at the time, I probably
repeated something I heard, and didn’t know what I was saying was bad. Lot of
good it did—<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy_k4mHJ1jVv65MIBbf07MyE9T75mARa34KjzUTAgkAwosSjj_36UUZqMGdNRR40WSpCudknC5kB6toQHU9wD48HjZ0_uV4M3NQUASpuCUbgfCR1v0vo5UffIn2HbvLh-P__-NAwPZ_l2k/s1600/sweetheart+soap.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy_k4mHJ1jVv65MIBbf07MyE9T75mARa34KjzUTAgkAwosSjj_36UUZqMGdNRR40WSpCudknC5kB6toQHU9wD48HjZ0_uV4M3NQUASpuCUbgfCR1v0vo5UffIn2HbvLh-P__-NAwPZ_l2k/s400/sweetheart+soap.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
(It was Sweet Heart soap for those who care to know.)<br />
<br />
I must confess—I have seen and heard enough in my lifetime that I’m likely
to drop and F-bomb before 8 AM—or as the image above implies, when I start
using “fuck” like a comma, I can gauge how my day is going to be—it’ll be a <em>real</em>
day. As I work my way through editing my manuscript, <em>Drinking from
the Fishbowl</em>, I have made a point to deliberate over the use of <em>“such
language”</em>—just because I should—yes, I counted them, there is a lot of
them sprinkled around. Have I taken any of them out? No. I haven’t found a
reason to—I figure my readers are adults or maybe precocious teens—I’m
confident that they can handle it. Tho’ I do realize some adult readers can be
sensitive—that cannot be helped—I understand “there’s an app for that” so
censorship is alive and well in the e-book world. I’ve heard good old white-out
is an option if one is so inclined, it’ll take more than one bottle, I’m sure…<br />
<br />
A few years ago, while attending my mother’s wake, one of her friends came
up to me, shook my hand and said, <em>“I loved your book (Dusty Waters), but it
had so many bad words.”</em> The lady scrunched herself up into a guilty
cringe; she giggled and smiled in that coy little way of proper ladies who
might’ve done something that made them feel guilty—I’m not sure, but I think
she meant to scold me, but couldn’t quite pull it off. Of course, I was still
feeling stunned by my mother’s unexpected death from a stroke, but I was
gracious enough to thank her for reading my book and was glad she liked it in spite
of my liberal use of bad words. Yes, my character, Dusty Waters, has quite a
potty mouth—I’m up front from page one how things are going to be so anyone
cracking it open for a test drive will know right away if it’s their cup of tea
or not. (In this SJW climate less than ten years later, I’m sure it’s
politically incorrect, some readers might expect trigger warnings, comfort
stations, and safe spaces…)<br />
<br />
All of my characters creatively express themselves with less than polite
language—It doesn’t make my characters bad people when they drop an F-bomb
because they’re upset, or express their surprise with an expletive—or just
casually cussing away in regular conversation, it’s their personality—not a
character flaw. People do talk this way—not all of ‘em, just some of ‘em. It
might not be proper, it might not be professional, it might not be ideal to say
such things in front of the “little pictures” learning how to talk because they
repeat EVERYTHING Mommy and Daddy says. (Just hear it, don’t say it, and especially,
don’t let Gramma hear you say that! Tho’ Grampy might laugh.) Profanity exists
in our language—it’s a revealing element pertaining to the reality of the human
condition, the anger, the amusement, the frustrations, and distress of people
as they experience life—life is certainly generous with one thing after
another. It’s always something.<br />
<br />
My mother’s friend isn’t the first or the only one to comment on my use of <em>such</em>
<em>language</em>. Her cringing posture made me feel a little bad that my book
forced her out of her comfort zone. To be honest, my comfort zone is challenged
whenever I step out my front door to witness the world for as long as I can
remember, so I can sympathize as I cringe too—yet I push myself to go
“there”—where ever, whatever “there” is because it’s what I do. It’s part of
being an observer, being a writer. I’m amazed when I meet people who have
allowed themselves to remain sheltered and have never looked the cruel world in
the eye and said, <em>“What the fuck!”</em> But I guess, some folks don’t want
to look at it too closely—it’s safer in the over-rated protection of the
shelter—or the trendy “safe space.” That’s fine. I’ve always been too aware of
the world, so I tell it like it is—it might not be pretty, and not too many
people want to hear it, but it is what it is. So I reach for the default
phrase—<em>“What the fuck.”</em> (This use is casual, like a shrug, <em>“C’est
la vie!”</em> It works just as well when it comes to the five-second rule.)
Then I could say, <em>“What the fuck?”</em> (An inquiry in regards to something
unbelievable, like that asshole who just did a U-turn from the right lane in
front of all oncoming traffic to get to the far right lane going the other
direction, it was truly amazing that he didn’t cause an accident—give that guy
a gold star along with the finger.) And finally, <em>“What the fuck!”</em>
(Dude, you scared me, I think I peed a little—or a bad-ass case of frustration,
because something just wormed its way under my skin just enough to trigger
righteous indignation.)<br />
<br />
<em>Ooooo, you just swore—</em><br />
<br />
<em>Yup, I did. </em><br />
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Laura J. Wellner (author pseudonym Laura J. W. Ryan)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02521328695400639226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-945280587128640479.post-51658772902576754792015-09-30T08:48:00.001-04:002015-09-30T22:07:56.899-04:00My thoughts regarding "Einstein's Beach House," Stories by Jacob M. Appel<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxZfiVdUSYOF1F7sKqbDZSa4zIb8gRlRXlkml-vYXe20CjeqBhEf8XJuQZ1Nbrag5gXANzwKjP3O80WaOO3jGHn7Q5YZ1Hu2CQ6vM50lUNqpKU1MMX6Onxnxeu4j7vdf3DJHgBTOlZLISs/s1600/Appel+jacob+Einsteins+Beach+H.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxZfiVdUSYOF1F7sKqbDZSa4zIb8gRlRXlkml-vYXe20CjeqBhEf8XJuQZ1Nbrag5gXANzwKjP3O80WaOO3jGHn7Q5YZ1Hu2CQ6vM50lUNqpKU1MMX6Onxnxeu4j7vdf3DJHgBTOlZLISs/s400/Appel+jacob+Einsteins+Beach+H.jpg" width="262" /></a></div>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Life can be stranger than fiction on any given day, so of
course, the hedgehog is depressed, not the human who has focused her energies onto
the small creature’s well-being—that only makes sense. The collection of
stories in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Einstein’s Beach House</i> by
Jacob M. Appel is an amusing, yet horrifying exploration of personalities and
human flaws that is darkly humorous—in order to have light, you must have dark.
These eight bite-sized human documents are light-hearted at their core.
Populated by characters who have the best intentions that have gone awry; tail-chasing
frustration; anxiety, depression, gullibility, family secrets, colossal
failures, maddening second-guessing, nigh irreparable damage, on the verge of
suicidal moments, and the moments in time that are barely saved—and amidst the
flawed individuals seeking acceptance, there is still hope and generosity in
spite of misgivings. We all know (and expect) the past has a knack for haunting
the present, and it’s certain that the future will be full of that bothersome
shit later, coming back up like a regretful meal—or a bad penny. It’s only
logical that the neighborhood sex offender only liked boys, so two girls
snooping around in his house should be safe; the tortoise would desire freedom;
the imaginary friend would most certainly have parents; and the rightful
ownership of a house that had been in the family for generations can be usurped
by a misprint in a travel guide. In <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Strings</i>,
there is that extraordinarily familiar gut feeling when it comes to facing the
“takers” who worm their way into your life because they know how to press your
buttons—you know the ones, kindness and guilty conscience. They always demand
more from you than you should give, and every time you give in to their
pitiable self-inflicted dramas, you’re enabling them to continue to be the chaotic
clinging vines they are—seriously, get an axe, start cutting, and don’t look
back, you’re not going to be canonized for your patience (but of course, there
wouldn’t be a story if you did.) These stories possess a palpable psychological
tension—enough to make me grit my teeth while reading along at a steady heart-breaking
clip—admirable squirm-factor, yet so nattily <i>hi-lar-i-ous</i> that the “squirm” is
forgivable. Good show, I say, good show.</div>
Laura J. Wellner (author pseudonym Laura J. W. Ryan)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02521328695400639226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-945280587128640479.post-39675029799538717542015-09-18T18:32:00.004-04:002015-09-18T18:32:32.990-04:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYmFWuNzcw2CKCO5f_UFtuSnKB_JPJPIw3h8wq5cV17ifG6LYVsSU7HYKR8THd_izhUDMAEv-6LoyEYS83ig_0UN8hi7mCE9tTSNRKPGm8ti81Ymf6SCf8JkNvJtWzXqNxwuRbgw2CcVeU/s1600/Dreams+and+Realities+9+13+2015.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYmFWuNzcw2CKCO5f_UFtuSnKB_JPJPIw3h8wq5cV17ifG6LYVsSU7HYKR8THd_izhUDMAEv-6LoyEYS83ig_0UN8hi7mCE9tTSNRKPGm8ti81Ymf6SCf8JkNvJtWzXqNxwuRbgw2CcVeU/s320/Dreams+and+Realities+9+13+2015.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<br />
This scribble is one of many ideas for the book cover design for my third novel, <i>Drinking from the Fishbowl</i>
the manuscript is so close to “done” I can just about scream! So the
doodling on yellow legal pad paper is part of the process. I’m looking
at the bedraggled manuscript that I’ve puttered through since
the beginning of August and wonder if this is “it”. Can I really start
thinking about how I want it to look? <br />
<br />
I ask myself: S<i>hould I comb through it one more time?</i><br />
<br />
<br />
When
people ask me, <i>“So what is your book about?”</i> I tell them… <i>“It’s about
dreams and realities…”</i> I let it settle in what that means, and then I
say <i>“We dream about all this stuff we plan to do, what we want to “be”,
but the reality of those grand plans never quite turn out as
expected…reality can be disappointing…or unexpected…”</i><br />
The first line goes like this:<br />
<br />
<i>…and then he asked, “Why do you want to be a poet, Georgia Sullivan?”</i><br />
<br />
It’s
hard to believe it’s become this…it grew from the smatterings of notes
scribbled on scraps of paper, post-it notes, and long hand passages in a
salt n’ pepper notebook as far back as 2000, back when I had no idea
where it was going and I was getting to know the characters, now it’s
this… an untidy pile of paper, and now I’m planning a book cover… I
love the process of making a book, from those first scribbles to the
first draft, and all the subsequent drafts, the frustrations, the
surprises, the doubts, and the certainties. The editing, the blood bath
of the red pen, the cutting of words, sentences, and the obliteration of
entire chapters…I can’t say for sure when it will be available…should I
do it before Christmas or wait until 2016…my first reader has settled
down to read it… (she’s been my first reader for all of them, she read
this one in its second draft infancy.)<br />
<br />
I think I’ll stick with Sabon for a
font…I should make more scribbles…should I do a painting? Incorporate
the scribbles in a flood of watercolor washes and rice paper? I know when
I finally turn it over to my Fred to design the guts and cover, he will
make it beautiful…unique. (I love making my books.)Laura J. Wellner (author pseudonym Laura J. W. Ryan)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02521328695400639226noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-945280587128640479.post-6237842167687147452015-08-07T13:07:00.001-04:002015-08-07T13:07:23.634-04:00My thoughts regarding "Go Set a Watchman" by Harper Lee<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8y-7TctWO02g7GCBg-C-9ZzHZkSMi5UcpZax40YvqZ1MtLRc5ckTUzKPyDCv6B_4j1E4RDwkp2G-c0gie3_CKT53ohPKYunYJ18CrqDomBjGl2ahVteQpfxS0OpqwtOt-NUviUm9lZ6jV/s1600/Harper+Lee+Go+Set+A+Watchman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8y-7TctWO02g7GCBg-C-9ZzHZkSMi5UcpZax40YvqZ1MtLRc5ckTUzKPyDCv6B_4j1E4RDwkp2G-c0gie3_CKT53ohPKYunYJ18CrqDomBjGl2ahVteQpfxS0OpqwtOt-NUviUm9lZ6jV/s320/Harper+Lee+Go+Set+A+Watchman.jpg" width="211" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
There are a handful of books that I hold close to my heart...<i>To Kill a Mockingbird </i>by Harper Lee is one of them...and now a new arrival has slipped in to join that little party...</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Go Set a Watchman</i> made me laugh and it made me cry, it broke my heart and
then pieced it together again. It was an intense read—it is a human document
containing all the ugliness and beauty of the human experience. Bittersweet—that’s
the word I’m looking for— it is bittersweet—to learn after years of believing
there was only one book—that Nelle wrote the one and stopped there—so, learning
about the existence of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Go Set a Watchman</i>
was a heady joy only to have the ratty controversies and negativity disrupt
what should be happy news. The cynical part of me crawled out from where it
hides and sparked, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“No duh, that’s a no
brainer—upon such a discovery, the publisher would ram it though doing the
least amount of effort possible as this is clearly a bestseller—just add a book
cover with Harper Lee’s name on it, it will sell itself…even if it isn’t any
good people will buy it because a second book by Harper Lee is the biggest
literary event this century.” </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Is that cynical or what? It happens to the best of us. I’ve
gotten to a point in my life when I’ve seen and heard much too much—it’s enough
to make me drop an F-bomb before 8AM on a daily basis—I’ve become “well-seasoned”
by life, so I come by it honestly.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The money grubbing mentality that is implied on the part of
the lawyer, the agent, the publisher—the varied enthusiasm and outrage about
Nelle’s ability to make a decision without her sister at her elbow advising is
uncomfortable and messy. Then, finally, the book is out, and so began the
spoilers on headlines the first day after its release—<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Oh! Oh! Oh! Me-first-me-first, let me tell all before everybody else
gets a chance to read it! </i>Since I knew this sort of thing would happen, I steered
clear of the news and reviews until I read it—and still, there are people
fussing—a variety of fuss—pick your poison. Honestly, it makes me want to spit
the bad taste out of my mouth—my Fred said, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Just
read the book.”</i> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
…and so now that I’ve gotten that shaken out, I can talk
about this beautiful thing—a book by Harper Lee. It took me a long time to
decide to enter the fray with my thoughts—I wanted to do it right. Long
awaited? No, longed for—because I always felt that she had more to say.
Unexpected? Well, yes, in the way that it was wished for, but I never expected
the wish to come true. I was good with that, though<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve always felt cheated that she didn’t
continue to write more—but yet, I completely understood why not—the
expectations of others, the pressure to perform—the judgmental critics making
their noises—sometimes praise can sound just as derisive as scorn. It’s a feat
of bravery for a writer to stick their neck out and be read—and after the overwhelming
success of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">To Kill a Mockingbird </i>it’s
easy to imagine her not wanting to deal with the nonsense, the celebrity
worship weirdness that drives our popular culture. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After witnessing the three-ring circus fuss
since February—I can’t say that I blame her. Tho’ it does sadden me that she
may have cheated herself of fulfilling those things within her that she never
let out.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have to wonder what Nelle thought when the first copy of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Watchman </i>was placed into her hands, I
imagined she’d say<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">—“Well, hello old
friend, long time no see.”</i> It had to be a reunion of sorts, after so many
years. It doesn’t surprise me that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Go Set
a Watchman</i> came first, that it is the “parent” of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">To Kill a Mockingbird</i>, which was a more mature, thoroughly composed
book. Second books usually are because the writer has learned from the first
one—the metaphor having to do with the raising of children comes to mind—the
second child gets a different experience than the first. There’s something
special about the first fully realized manuscript—the “first born”. For me,
personally, there is an emotional attachment to the first manuscript of a
completed work—it is raw and full of the passion of a first love, and it’s sentimental.
This sort of feeling does not belong to one of those false starts scribbled down
and fretted over in the heat of the moment—those are ephemeral and disjointed
fragments with very little traction to develop into something larger—I’m
talking about the first completed manuscript with a beginning and an end and
threads of related shit happening in the middle. This is something that took a
great deal of time to accomplish, months, years—who knows. There’s investment—I
don’t even like that word, because of the financial implication because it’s
more than that. Of course, when one sets out to be a writer, part of that is to
want success, to be self-supporting, but then there’s that other thing writers
and all artists have—the desire to do. Do it all. Make it so. Write it because
it has to be written. If you don’t you’ll regret it later. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Go Set a Watchman </i>contains Nelle’s endeavor to write about
something that matters. From that first manuscript came <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">To Kill a Mockingbird</i> —she had what so few editors/ publishers do
anymore, investment in the individual writer to nurture talent. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Mockingbird</i> may have never come into
being if she didn’t get that extra push to turn her attention to Scout’s past
and the deeper story that she had lingering in between the events in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Go Set a Watchman</i>. It gives me the
chills thinking—to now read the first page or two of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Mockingbird</i>, I get the feeling that this version of Scout is even
older than the one in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Watchman</i>, and
Atticus is gone. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Before I set out on my journey, I always keep in mind that
every book is different—the same writer, different book. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Watchman</i> being the foundation to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Mockingbird</i> is what it is—the first book, the ground zero of things
to come.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I enjoyed every page—savoring
it—I spent a good part reading on the front porch (too hot to do anything else
by noon) and other times, I read it before going to sleep at night. There were
surprises (in spite of the unsurprising spoiler headlines that I mostly
ignored.) It was kind of funny that I was reading Harper Lee and Joyce Carol
Oates (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Mudwoman</i>) during the same
week—both books are intense in their own way—both authors have been the inspiration
for me to become a writer. I didn’t plan it that way, it just happened, and
then I started to read my own book <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dusty
Waters</i> on the Nook for something to read on my lunch hour at work. (I know,
how narcissistic can you get, right? Reading your own shit and loving it—what
the fuck.) It seemed appropriate in a way to compare and contrast and to be
caught up in a conjunction of words and inspirations, and holy shit—I thought
my head was going to pop off my body because it was a little too intense some
of the time…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Is it <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Mockingbird</i>
revisited? In a sense, sort of—but it stands on its own well enough—I had to
forget <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Mockingbird</i> because when this
book was written, there was no <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">To Kill a
Mockingbird</i>, and I could see that right away. First in line is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Atticus</i>. Gregory Peck will forever be
the iconic, beloved figure of Atticus Finch, there’s no escaping that stunning
Hollywood image—so pitch perfect. It hurt my heart to imagine that he’s going
to be <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">found out</i>—and I had to ask
myself, how is Scout going to come back from this? I reread <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Mockingbird</i> during the wait for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Watchman</i> to come, and I watched the
movie (twice) and after such immersion I knew how <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Watchman</i> was going to go down—because every child learns eventually
that their parents are not gods—they are people—humans. Suddenly we wake up and
realize they are not perfect (tho’ some learn that early—every household is
different.) Atticus, oh Atticus—you couldn’t remain this wise, thoughtful
man—flawless in every way? No. Scout—well, Jean Louise—she was bound to find
out that you are what you are—a man named Atticus Finch, a human being—still wise
and thoughtful, only with human flaws. He is not a god, and it is terrible to
go through life believing in someone only to have them disappoint you—your
dream of them is not their reality.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Change</i>—part of
growing up is accepting change. That small town called <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">home</i> changes the moment you leave it—the comfort zone is now
uncomfortable—so much of our innocence is lost the moment we depart the nest. I
grew up in a small town, an old Erie Canal town, another tired old town that
had its day once upon a time, and now its struggling to remain relevant in the
contemporary world where everything changes with the latest gadget in hand. All
that is left is sentimentality for the sounds and smells of home—but you can’t
go home and expect it to be the same. Parents grow old and die. Buildings get
knocked down, new ones are raised in their place. Life goes on—if you do go
home, it’s to bring something with you to build upon the foundation left behind—one
lesson learned, nothing is static. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Bigot,” she read.
“Noun. One obstinately or intolerably devoted to his own church, party, belief,
or opinion.”</i> (page 267)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Regarding the disagreeable subject of bigotry—it’s not just
about Atticus being a bigot, it’s about Scout’s being her own version of a
bigot, and then going a step further, looking at the big picture, ours—like it
or not, we’re all bigots—human nature has this natural suspicion of “the other”.
We come up against someone we don’t agree with, someone we feel threatened by,
we don’t give ground, we will not bend to compromise, and what’s worse, we
won’t listen—then we do everything we can to try to get it out of our sight and
stamp it out of existence. (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Our way or
the highway!</i>) What I’m saying is this—no matter how self-righteous, exclusive,
or squeaky-clean you think you are—you’re still a bigot (perhaps a
“turnip-sized bigot”) when it comes to protecting your own from the other that
is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“not like me.”</i> I’m sorry, is there
someone different from you threatening your ideas—your ideals of how things
should be in the world of you? Get over it. Our country is getting way too
fucked up by this shit—if there’s any lesson to learn in the treasure of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Watchman</i>—that’s a big one just to start.
Scout had to learn it. We all do. If we don’t learn to get on with one another,
acknowledge our differences without shaming or censoring or going to war over
perceived insults, then to put it bluntly—we are fucked.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After I read the last page, I wished for more—because Nelle
clearly had so much more going on—so much more. Rumors of a third book make me
squirm on an uncomfortable fence with anticipation—more fuss, more controversy,
more dredging up negativity, and of course, the implied third-party greed. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If a third book does emerge—I’ll read it like
I read this one, and I will grow from the experience.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I want you to read it—love it or hate it on your own terms.</div>
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<![endif]--><br />Laura J. Wellner (author pseudonym Laura J. W. Ryan)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02521328695400639226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-945280587128640479.post-1721003491447575062015-07-19T13:05:00.003-04:002015-07-19T13:05:36.067-04:00Now reading...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A hot summer day and a spot reserved on my front porch, perfect day to read a good book...Laura J. Wellner (author pseudonym Laura J. W. Ryan)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02521328695400639226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-945280587128640479.post-28399457756369039812015-07-12T16:32:00.001-04:002015-07-12T16:32:03.668-04:00My thoughts regarding E. L. Doctorow, "Homer and Langley"<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtr4ugBO4-cEbInuelXuu8kmAuOq0RumHpviVlkZ-SBF8yCxWpR72KWcVf84hpY5Qlnqwdjx3DBS6v1B6JjQztxZZH_wZizAlJ9erMiKnI3mLDbNi8cz-s6wHbxRLTOAfeuOfPUCyulyAN/s1600/doctorow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtr4ugBO4-cEbInuelXuu8kmAuOq0RumHpviVlkZ-SBF8yCxWpR72KWcVf84hpY5Qlnqwdjx3DBS6v1B6JjQztxZZH_wZizAlJ9erMiKnI3mLDbNi8cz-s6wHbxRLTOAfeuOfPUCyulyAN/s320/doctorow.jpg" width="214" /></a></div>
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The circumstances of the Collyer Brothers is a study in
human behavior—it is stunning. I’ve wanted to read this one since it first came
out, and found a copy at a used book store back in May, so I adopted it as the
pile of books in my arms kept growing. I’m slowly making my way through this
pile of books…</div>
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The one thing that made my brain itch was Doctorow’s
breaking from the known facts of the Collyer Brothers—it is understood that
writers are allowed liberties while writing about historical events, but when
writing about real people—even in a fictionalized retelling—can be a bit touchy
if the facts are tweaked off kilter. (Of course, I did research on the Collyer
Brothers to satisfy my curiosity about the real them. The photographs of the
Collyer house on 5<sup>th</sup> Avenue are very haunting.) The thing about people
like them, there’s the “legend” or the mythology associated with their story—in
every legend there’s a <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>grain of truth—in
a good portion of fiction, there are always grains of truth that have been
harvested, but there is also the bending of truth—anything from the names have
been changed to protect the innocent sort of stuff to extravagant exaggeration.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With that said, it wasn’t a deal breaker for
it was written from a fascinating point of view, so my brain itch got over
itself and I enjoyed the reading journey as it prattled on at a decent clip,
the immersion was complete and seductive. The story as Doctorow tells it is
creepy and yet tender—an odd sensation—sensational, yet respectful, sympathetic.
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The plethora of hoarding stories, such as crazy cat ladies
and rat infested homes piled to the ceiling with bales of old newspapers, a
maze through stacks of things like books or Cool Whip containers, and the assorted
junk that might be useful in some way yet to be thought of has become a media fascination.
There’s always that one eccentric in the town, the neighbor on the street, or
the one person in the family that does that “something outside of normal” that
causes everyone to perk up and take notice. The one’s who try to intervene
often hit a brick wall of indignant noncompliance with a resolute “fuck off,
it’s my house, my life.” For some of them it’s a lifestyle that’s gone awry or
life just becoming overwhelming after a crisis of loss or the decline of
health—there are many reasons why things like this happen, the psychology is
interesting—what went wrong to have things get so far out of hand? We are all
fragile in that way—it really doesn’t take much to topple the most normal of
us—the us who should “know better”—and then there are people who just don’t
“know better” and behave according to their experience. The Collyer’s knew
better—then things changed. </div>
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For years, I’ve passed by a house on my way to work and have
noticed the changes that have taken place there—the garage door that is left
open just enough to allow the family cat to come and go seems to have a great
deal of clutter formed just inside that opening. I’ve seen the cat sitting in
the driveway, contemplating the gap as if it is 1) listening for a mouse; or 2)
Kitty is thinking, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I can’t find my food
dish, this place sucks.”</i> </div>
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There are other stories that I can tell, but I will save
them for another time…</div>
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The “how come” part is puzzling at best, but yet
understandable as one accumulates things during one’s lifetime and then must
find a “home” for these things after a trip to the bookstore or the antique
shop or the beach if one enjoys collecting pretty stones. I am a collector of
things. Lately, I feel sad when going into antique shops and used bookstores—looking
over the former contents of other people’s homes—I have felt the urge to call
my acquisitions “adoptions” as I empathize with the history of an
object—thinking of the person who once, received it, held it in their hands,
dusted it, and revered it. One will especially understand this after clearing
out the home of deceased parents, now that I’m absorbing the heirlooms and
family related ephemera that should be kept in the family, I am personally
feeling overwhelmed by things and the associated memories of those things and
then the creation of new meanings for those things. Incorporating these things
into my own accumulation has been challenging—I’m contemplating new storage
options and the eventual renovation of our attic space to take on the overflow
of dimensional memories. I light-heartedly joke with our son<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">—“Someday all of this will be yours—the
pretty stones, just throw them out into the garden. Beyond that, you’re going
to have one hell of an auction someday.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></i></div>
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From pages 207-208:</div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">There are moments when
I cannot bear this unremitting consciousness. It knows only itself. The images
of things are not the things in themselves. Awake, I am in a continuum with my
dreams…My memories are pale I prevail upon them again and again. They become
more and more ghostly. I fear nothing so much as losing them altogether and
having only my blank endless mind to live in. If I could go crazy, if I could
will that on myself, I might not know how badly off I am, how awful is this
awareness that is irremediably aware of itself. With only the touch of my
brother’s hand to know that I am not alone.</i></div>
Laura J. Wellner (author pseudonym Laura J. W. Ryan)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02521328695400639226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-945280587128640479.post-67726684167831722552015-06-20T08:38:00.001-04:002015-06-20T08:38:13.819-04:00My thoughts regarding "In the Memorial Room" by Janet Frame<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-5MG1ZQJ9WYBSJjbsOV39DnP1dr-RkTFf5eLMfIaiwcQsPAoVa22GRFw6W1BEWxSwfF1J-QvTiA_RCCuKJXDKkZkJvuCyDz_jMQyERuBAy83NPIj0mCXVEnwDdlcB_KYq8BuLIIzaG4Xs/s1600/Memorial+Room.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-5MG1ZQJ9WYBSJjbsOV39DnP1dr-RkTFf5eLMfIaiwcQsPAoVa22GRFw6W1BEWxSwfF1J-QvTiA_RCCuKJXDKkZkJvuCyDz_jMQyERuBAy83NPIj0mCXVEnwDdlcB_KYq8BuLIIzaG4Xs/s320/Memorial+Room.jpg" width="208" /></a></div>
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Simply, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">In</i> t<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">he Memorial Room</i> is a story about a
writer, Harry Gill, and how he became disassembled because he won the
Watercress Armstrong Fellowship—but it’s not that simple.</div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">…I believe a writer is
not ‘known’ until his grocer and barber have read his works without
astonishment…</i> (From p. 21)</div>
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I found this fragment highly hysterical at the time<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">—‘without astonishment’</i> in particular.
It’s such a peculiar sensation when ones writing is read—to have it read
‘without astonishment’ is honestly a relief.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Writing is just so…so…oh, dang damn—what am I trying to say here? Well, writing
is incredibly personal and can cause huge misunderstandings, emotional
dust-ups, senseless jealousies, wary paranoia, and a collection of troubles
that can send a writer into an oppressed oblivion and spiraling into depression.
Something like that.</div>
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As I read the book, I often felt this one was not quite as
polished or as fully realized as her other books—there are several sparkles of
gems and plenty of potential complexities that were not fully developed, and I
immediately thought perhaps it is troubled by its personal nature. Sometimes
when one attempts to “veil the truth” that’s when a writer stumbles and stubs
their toes. (Ouch.) When I say “It’s not my favorite Janet Frame book” doesn’t
mean that I’m foaming at the mouth raving that I want the hours spent reading
it back, or that I’m disappointed in some way—not at all. I come to every book
with the knowledge that each one will be different—expectations bedevil
experiences every time—I enjoy the reading experience too much to spoil it with
expectations. In fact, I have gone back through it so many times since, noting
all the dog-eared pages of interest, I’m loving it more—that’s part of the
magic of Janet Frame, it’s hard to put down the book after you’re done reading
it. I always catch myself starting over again… </div>
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Funny thing, sometimes a creative person’s undoing is caused
by being recognized. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Now that I’ve done
well for myself, what if I can’t do it anymore?</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(A frightening thought.) Suddenly the joy is
sucked right out of the act of writing, writer’s block sets in, and then the
writer starts drinking and…ugh. Between you, me, and the computer screen, I
know I’ve turned into an <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Aw shucks, it’s
just what I do,”</i> shrinking violet as soon as someone turns their praise in
my direction. Sometimes I’m so embarrassed, I become almost combative, say “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">tsk” </i>or “shit” and roll my eyes with the
expressed <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“What’s the big deal? It’s not
like I just pulled a rabbit out of my ass, I wrote a book, so what?” </i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Of course, only moments before I was lurking
around Goodreads agonizing that no one has added my book to their To-Read list.
Boo fucking hoo.) It’s a see-saw of emotions to be sure. I think Doris
Lessing’s initial response when she was told that she won the Nobel <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Prize was—“Oh Christ”—that sums it up in a teacup.
(That’s great, go away, leave me alone.) </div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">—You display, he said,
the incipient signs of intentional invisibility.</i></div>
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<span class="readable"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">—You
mean I want to be blind?</i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><br />
<span class="readable">—No, no. No, no. You are trying to make yourself
invisible, on the childlike theory that if you can’t see, then you can’t be
seen. Like a child who shuts his eyes and thinks no one can see him.</span><br />
<span class="readable">—I don’t believe it, I said, indignantly. —I’m not
neurotic, hysterical, or whatever you call it. I’m a matter-of-fact person, my
feet on the earth.</span><br />
<span class="readable">—A </span></i><em><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-style: normal; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">pied-à-terre</span></em><span class="readable"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> only? He smiled. —Monsieur Gill, this disease is real. One would
scarcely call it a disease, though. It is what is known as a collaborative
condition.</i></span> (from page60-61)</div>
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<span class="readable"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">—Monsieur
Gill, I know nothing of your life but what you have told me. I can do nothing
for you. You are not ill, you are not going blind, you are a sane man, I
believe. But through a combination of circumstances, through being in a certain
place – which must be here, this city, at a certain time, and in the company of
certain people, you are on the point of vanishing.</i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>(From page 63)</div>
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Going blind; going deaf; becoming invisible. Vanishing.</div>
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It is a book about being a writer—the discomfort of being a
writer and the baggage of being noticed. The status or stature of a writer—what
a writer “looks like” (a young Hemingway, of course!)—and the pressure to
“perform” as a duty or fulfillment. Being recognized and under the scrutiny of
even the most well-meaning person or institution can cause just as much anxiety
as remaining undiscovered. The invisibility and uncertainty of belonging is
familiar (not quite fitting in.) Then being treated like an object on
exhibition, and the plague of expectations that others have for you. These
‘outside others’ who want to possess you and your time in a game of tug o’ war
amongst themselves, and then <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>your
efforts are scrutinized nearly to the point of being censored as more
expectations are imposed <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Is it about….?”</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then there’s that one person who has to say <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I don’t like the name you picked for my
character…”</i> (Huh? Who said it was about you? Seriously.) Really, people get
weird around writers—</div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“You should put that
in your book.”</i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“You could write a
book about that.”</i></div>
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<br /></div>
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I know it’s harmless banter, but sorry, when I hear that
shit start, I cringe. </div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Have you sensed the
nothingness of my nature, that I am as empty as the carriages of the trains
that pass, dusty, used, in the morning sun? A novelist must be that way, I
think, and not complain of it, otherwise how shall the characters accommodate
themselves in his mind? To this you reply that it is he who must enter the
minds of his characters? Certainly, but where shall he house them while he
enters their minds, but in those empty used trains that pass and pass forever
before his gaze? </i></div>
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(Page 116)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Memorial Room itself is a tomb—the cult of the dead
writer—the worship culture that society has cultivated is ridiculous at
best—there are those of us who create and those who worship the creators, and
then bring their baggage of expectations. Meeting someone you admire can be
horribly disappointing—what is it that they say?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Meeting your favorite author is like wanting
to meet a goose because you love pâté…</div>
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With that said—Janet Frame’s sly sense of humor is deadpan
dry—goodness knows if you take her seriously, you will find yourself scratching
your head and thinking<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Huh?” She always
has such an interesting way of looking at everything, each of her books have a
twist that sends the reader down the rabbit hole in a manner of speaking.
Thankfully, I still have more, older works by Janet Frame to read; I’m slowly
building my library collection and will be happy to journey through them all.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
6/20/2015 Laura J. W. Ryan</div>
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<![endif]--><br />Laura J. Wellner (author pseudonym Laura J. W. Ryan)http://www.blogger.com/profile/02521328695400639226noreply@blogger.com0