Welcome to my blog Upstate Girl, (a.k.a Follow Your Bliss Part II), I am an independently published author. This blog is all about writing and the stuff that inspires me to write, the joys and obstacles that come along with the writer's life, and my fascination with the psychology of people and what makes them tick...the human condition, as is...and my love for words, playing with them and making sense of them...and I throw in a few photos from my acre of the world just to make things pretty...sometimes there are things I have no words for, only pictures will do.

*Copyright notice* All photos, writing, and artwork are mine (
© Laura J. Wellner), unless otherwise noted, please be a peach, if you'd like to use my work for a project or you just love it and must have it, message me and we'll work out the details...it's simple...JUST ASK, please.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

East of Your Elbow

Night Haze, pencil drawing, 2007

I wrote a little essay for Red Lemonade about Creativity, Free Will and Determinism...a little one with big thoughts...I kept it short...and could have gone on and on and on...here's the link should your curiosity sends you wandering...east of wherever you are at this moment...

 East of Your Elbow by Laura J. W. Ryan at Red Lemonade

This is stuff I think about all the time when I'm writing, putting my characters through their paces and my pencil drawings really embody my belief in Free Will...

Meditations on paper, raw and beautiful, willy-nilly, higgledy-piggledy...I go with the flow and somewhere in that stream of consciousness I make something beautiful...

Rite of Spring, May 26, 2006, pencil drawing

Spring Night, 2007, pencil drawing

Meditation, 2/12/2008, pencil drawing

Beethoven, 2007, pencil drawing

Dreams on a New Moon Night September 19, 2007, pencil drawing

Evening Song, 1/11/2006, pencil drawing

 “But the Hebrew word, the word timshel—‘Thou mayest’— that gives a choice. It might be the most important word in the world. That says the way is open. That throws it right back on a man. For if ‘Thou mayest’—it is also true that ‘Thou mayest not.” – John Steinbeck, East of Eden
While I wrote this little bit...my mind wandered into ancestry and genetics, I thought a great deal of my Grandfather, Gordon who was a great resource of fire (no brimstone, just the fire of personality). He died before I came into what I was meant to do, but I think he understood this about children, that it takes time for us to form, and we will do what we do in spite of ancestry and the expectations of all who had come before us - especially those of our parents. I began to think of Determinism as an old man, very dignified (personified as my Grampy), blue eyes flickering with a wealth of knowledge and the desire for control - and Free Will a small child, skipping about the old man's feet asking questions - especially that nagging "how come?" only to run off giggling without waiting for the answer - a happy little sprite with fly-away hair, skinned knees, a gap-toothed grin after a visit from the Tooth-fairy.

Imagine that...if you will.

I was so pleased to be invited to write for Red Lemonade, and I truly loved writing this little essay - I needed it - a mental sprint through words that I've collected over time, piecing them together and once again, confirming my "how come" in the grand scheme of things. Free will is a small thing, it's fragile in spite of its power, and I fear all too easily crushed...from little things, big things grow. It's been a lifetime of struggle to protect this spark that I have, maintaining it through the years of living life, carving out that creative time so that I can feed that unique part of me...too few of us allow ourselves this selfish indulgence.

Well, blah, blah, blah-blah...if I have more to say, I will add later. I need to go away for awhile to think.

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