Upstate jokes

The black dog turning white.My dog Max is a regular snow-bunny...gotta be to live here...

A classic December sunrise...

I joke about the cold and the snow, and complain about the constant gray that starts around October 20th and might end by Memorial Day...but someone just sent me a Jeff Foxworthy list of Upstate jokes (very reminiscent of "You Know You're a Redneck When...") however, I can't resist them only because they ring so true...especially now with another storm coming our way and yet again, we're going to get stomped on by Mother Nature...

Jeff Foxworthy on Upstate New York .

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Upstate New York.

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights a year because Saranac Lake is the coldest spot in the nation, and Syracuse gets more snow than any other major city in

the US, you might live in Upstate NY.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from October through May, you might live in Upstate New York

If you get 131 inches of snow in a week and you comment that 'winter's finally here,' you might live near Oswego in Upstate New York.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the year, you might live, bundled up, in Upstate New York.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Upstate NY.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Upstate New York.

If you have worn shorts and a parka on the same day, you might live in Upstate New York.

If you have had a lengthy phone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Upstate New York.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE UPSTATE NEW YORKER WHEN:

'Vacation' means going south past Syracuse for the weekend.

You measure distance in hours.

You know several people who have hit a deer - more than once.

You often switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again.

You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching.

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend/wife knows how to use them.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction.

You can identify a southern or eastern accent.

Down South to you means Corning .

Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new shed.

You go out for a fish fry every Friday.

Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

You find 10 degrees 'a little chilly.' And 55 is shorts weather.

You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Upstate New York friends and to those who used to live here and left(chickens).

On a side note...we are a resilient little bunch up here...in most places there's the Dog Days of August when people become cranky and likely to do things out of character...here, there are the Gray Days of Winter...we get cranky and are likely to do things out of character, and when the sun comes out we are blind and confused...a photo by my Fred of one of our fine lookin' pine trees...